Don’t be the boring and predictable parent — instead do this when your college kid comes home during breaks

One of the bittersweet moments of parenting is to watch your kids grow and move away to college. It’s one of the hardest moments of separation for parents. When families reach this phase of life, moms and dads yearn for the moment their kids return during college breaks. After having spent so much time apart, presumably for the first time, parents are curious and excited. Hoping to make them feel welcome and at home, we keep our energy level up so high that we tend to overdo things. A mom and parenting expert, (@less.awkward), shared a few tips for parents to quit being nagging and predictable and have a productive and worthwhile time with their teenagers while they’re home for the break. 

The woman began by cautioning parents that the last thing kids need is to have repetitive and overwhelming questions thrown at them. “They don't need us asking, 'Is it so amazing?' 'Do you love it so much? ' 'Are you having the best time?'” the mom said. She added that especially if kids have been having a hard time with these things, it could really put them off and make things worse. She went on to cite another coach’s words saying, “Second of all, we're not going to launch into questions about grades or anything like that the minute they walk through the door. As our friend Harlan Cohen says, they are exhausted physically and emotionally and they just need to lie down.” 

Like it or not, these now-growing young adults need some space before you can get into their lives. The woman particularly cautioned parents to avoid asking questions about a friend's circle, finding crushes or talking about relationships. Even if the case is such, kids would want to take time before coming around to talk about it. Moreover, the mom mentioned that if they haven’t been able to find the latter, admission will feel hard and disappointing. While all the interrogation is a hard no, the expert suggests simple things parents can do.

“They need to sleep. They need to eat well, they need to be cozy and see the dog,” she explained. The mom poignantly noted how every day may be a challenge for them at college so when they’re here they need safe love and acceptance. They need to breathe and chill out. They just need a space where they can be themselves and not have to live up to expectations or perform. As parents, we ought to give them the space for the same before everything else. The expert also added a pro-tip in her caption— a question which is a complete no-no. “Don’t ask them if ‘they’re so happy,’” she said. 

Several parents related to the pointers shared by the mom and pitched in from their experiences. @7343juli suggested, “Do their laundry, hand them food and give them a hug.” @birdsbeeskids straightforwardly said, “I called this the ‘shut up’ parenting technique. It’s magical.” @nc_coach_tina added, “This post was like getting a hug from another parent saying, ‘You got this!’” @theoriginalmammabear remarked, “Home should be a haven. And trust, they eventually want to share and talk but maybe need a little decompression time first.”

You can follow (@less.awkward) on Instagram for more content parenting tips and lifestyle.