11-year-old autistic boy would have aggressive episodes — his mom came up with 2 words to help him calm down
Children who have autism or other special needs tend to have episodes where they feel insecure, different and act out. As parents, how we control or address them makes a lot of difference in handling such situations. A mom named Abby (@super_solo_mon) revealed that when her 11-year-old autistic son, Solomon, started having aggressive episodes where he would hit another, she came up with two simple words to calm him down, per Newsweek. Her unique method resonated with the 11-year-old and was a simple one he could understand and practice even when situations were random, repeated or more serious than usual.
The mom mentioned that Solomon would have these episodes where he would suddenly start throwing hands. "Solo was aggressive and hit quite often, so the method decreased the hitting, but it helped in other areas, like waiting,” she explained. According to Raising Children, aggressive behavior is common among autistic children, especially when they’re trying to express something. This might vary from actions such as hitting another person, an object, or even oneself. It is recommended that when such occurrences take place, parents be calm and react prudently. Angry or upsetting reactions are not the best bet in these cases.
Visual cues, simple conversations and so on can help. However, Abby came up with two words that she uses every time her son seems to be getting aggressive. The words are “Safe Hands.” She learned about it through Solomon’s applied behavioral therapist. "This one time, he had just been in a meltdown and I had yelled 'safe hands' in a panic and he just stopped everything. It was remarkable,” the mom recalled. In her video, the mom demonstrated how she immediately said “Safe Hands” and clasped her fists together and showed them to her son. As a result, he immediately understood that he needed to take a moment before reacting and keep his distance from the person.
The video captured how Solomon went through several episodes where he’d start hitting his mum. Before 'safe hands,' the mom revealed that no matter what she tried, Solomon‘s aggression would persist during the episodes. As soon as she used the 2 words and the action, he immediately stopped and took a step back. It was something he understood and was able to act on instinctively. "If you want something, you have 'safe hands' first. If you do something wrong, you do 'safe hands,'" she explained. "It was like it reset his brain. He does it without us saying anything at times," the mom added.
It would offer him a second to calm down and communicate his needs or issues. Having become a regularly effective practice, Abby was delighted to share the method with fellow parents. "Safe hands have given my son a way to ask for things, a way to respond. It's a way for him to communicate with us." @lynsea said, “You’re not only teaching him safe hands, but you’re also teaching him a coping skill to counter stress, be calm and wait. Miss Mama, you’re killing it.” @rvllifeinparadise remarked, “Looks like it genuinely helped rewire his brain and calm him down.”
@super_solo_mon Well it’s official, it’s been a year since we’ve started safe hands. Wow. From the first video to now is incredible. I started with modeling it, I talk about, I counted, I would physically show him, I was consistent, I reinforced, I offered praise and we did that again and again. It’s so worth it. I promise. #soloasd #autism #autistic #solo #change #challenge #safehands ♬ Lights Are On - Instrumental - Edith Whiskers
You can follow Abby (@super_solo_mon) on TikTok for more content on parenting.