Dad of daughter with Down syndrome was taken aback when co-workers joked about a 'retard'—his response left them speechless
During our day-to-day communication, we engage in conversations about a lot of issues with colleagues and friends. Many of these exchanges are informal and expressive, where we say what’s on our mind without much gatekeeping. However, we should always be mindful of how we are addressing a person, a situation, or a condition they are in. A mom named Shannon Morgan Daughtry revealed that her husband, Dustin, was baffled when he heard his colleagues having a reckless conversation about a “retard," per Love What Matters. It affected him a lot more than others as the couple is parents to a little girl, Raegan, who has Down syndrome. In response, the dad used his experience and love for his daughter to teach a powerful lesson to his coworkers.
“So, I just can't shake this sad feeling I have had since my husband told me this story today. I wasn't going to share it, but then decided that if it could enlighten one person, it would be worth it,” the mom wrote. She explained that her husband came across a bunch of colleagues who were having lunch and were engaged in conversation. One of the men was talking about a Halloween costume party and said, “My brother came to the party and had the best costume. He went as a retard! Oh man, it was hilarious! He was awesome. He looked like such a good retard.”
Dustin took a while to gather his thoughts and approached the group of people who were busy laughing at the insensitive joke. He asked the man, “Well, wait, what does a retard look like?” To this, the man who made the joke replied, “I don't know, but he was good! He was the perfect retard.” The dad then took his phone out and showed the group a picture of his daughter. Immediately, he received tons of responses like "she’s adorable,” “she’s cute,” and so on. Dustin then revealed that his daughter had Down syndrome. The dad confidently added, “I'm sure you can imagine that I don't appreciate this costume conversation. I'm just wondering, is she what a retard looks like to you?”
The coworkers were instantly silenced and left speechless. They even felt awkward and began assuring Dustin that they didn’t mean any insults. However, the dad persisted in explaining that it was not about insulting him alone, but about using the term casually and carelessly, offending families like his. The mom explained in the post that everyone undoubtedly got uncomfortable as “Dustin just went on to explain why that word is so hurtful, shouldn't be used and especially how insulting it was to use it as a joke and a costume.” She added that despite the discomfort the coworkers faced at that moment, they surely left with a better understanding and empathy.
In conclusion, the mom shared a thoughtful message, “It still makes me feel so sad that some people look at our kids as a joke. I've said it a thousand times. There are so many words in the dictionary that you can use in place of the ‘R’ word. Please, for Raegan's sake, consider using a different one.” Many fellow parents related to the pain and hurt the couple felt and were proud that the dad spoke up. Tracey Smith said, “Well done for sharing your story and good on your husband.” Michelle Seeraj added, “Glad your husband spoke up!”