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Harvard research says you can significantly increase your likability by doing this one thing - it's simple but overlooked by many

This trick can make you more likable in your personal as well as professional life.
PUBLISHED NOV 17, 2024
(L) Intrigued woman asking manager a question. (Representative Cover Image Source: Getty Images| Photo by Nastasic) (R) Man pointing to a person in admiration. (Representative Cover Image Source: Getty Images| Photo by whystudio)
(L) Intrigued woman asking manager a question. (Representative Cover Image Source: Getty Images| Photo by Nastasic) (R) Man pointing to a person in admiration. (Representative Cover Image Source: Getty Images| Photo by whystudio)

Wherever we go, we hope to make a good impression on people. We have ample ways of doing this but mostly, not every trick works well. Many of these skills and tactics have no genuine effect on people. The good news is that you can skip these unusual practices that make things awkward and opt for a simple tactic to make yourself more likable, per a study from Harvard. The trick, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, pointed out that you can increase your likability only by asking a question or two. That’s right, your curiosity is the hero here. 

Three hosts sitting in front of a large display and talking while taking questions after a presentation. (Representative Image Source: Getty Images| Tom Werner)
Three hosts sitting in front of a large display and talking while taking questions after a presentation. (Representative Image Source: Getty Images| Tom Werner)

If you’re trying to make a valid impression, the best thing to do is exercise an interest and pose a question. Asking a question and then following it up gives the idea that you’re invested in what is taking place. This automatically adds a sort of plus point in making an impression. Moreover, the research notes that asking a question can be considered as responsiveness. Often, we’re not sure what to say in social situations and the fear of blurting out the wrong thing seizes us. In this case, asking a question can always add to the conversation while ensuring you don’t mess up. Posing a thought or question about the meeting or conversation also gives the idea that you have been listening and are attentive. 

Two young adults breaking the ice with a light-hearted conversation. (Representative Image Source: Getty Images| Photo by Alvarez)
Two young adults breaking the ice with a light-hearted conversation. (Representative Image Source: Getty Images| Photo by Alvarez)

“Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers wrote. These already make up for great qualities one would want if they’re to look at someone from a positive view. Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School said that asking questions can be a win-win situation, per Forbes. It gives away that you have good emotional intelligence while increasing your intelligence. “Compared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,” she noted. 

The two things to note are quality and quantity. You want to ask the right questions based on the situation you’re in and the atmosphere around you. Simple observation should help. For instance, in a conversation with an employee, some generic question about work or their skill would be ideal. Moreover, asking too many questions might make you appear like a nagging obstruction and that’s far from what we wish to obtain. The research suggests asking one question and casually following up to build an authentic conversation. The purpose of the question is to break the ice in an impactful way and give potential to quality conversations. 

People meeting for a professional meet for the first time. (Representative Image Source: Getty Images| Photo by Keeproll)
People meeting for a professional meet for the first time. (Representative Image Source: Getty Images| Photo by Keeproll)

This tactic can be used in almost any instance if executed thoughtfully. The aim is to make the opposite person feel respected and involved in the conversation. Another crucial thing to remember is to make the conversation a conversation. Don’t just sit throwing questions, try and build on it, and be a listener and a speaker. Sharing your thoughts in a neutral way can greatly add to the quality of the conversation. As Brooks suggests, this method is one of the best ways to understand the other person and express your interest, thus providing leverage in the likeability process.

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