Man was 'shocked' to see his family's grave vandalised—then a stonemason's response eased his grief
When we lay our loved ones to rest in a cemetery, the gravestone becomes a sign of comfort for us. It becomes a place to find solace and stay close to our deceased family members. 61-year-old Paul Ralph had a family headstone in the Hedon Road Cemetery in Hull, England, per BBC News. With many loved ones laid to rest there, he would often visit. One day, he was shattered to discover that the grave had been brutally vandalised. When all kinds of grief and pain overwhelmed him, James Coles, director of Bespoke Memorial, made an offer that brought healing and comfort.
According to Delphos Granite Works, a headstone offers a space of reflection and remembrance. It is the only place that now holds a personal piece of the hearts of grieving family members as their loved ones’ remains are respectfully held. People take the opportunity to receive closure and maintain a bond with the deceased by adding ornaments, plants, inscriptions and so on to the grave and headstones. Ralph had been visiting his family grave where many of his elders had been laid to rest — including his parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. One can only imagine how close to his heart the grave was.
To add to it, the grave was designed by his father, who was a stonemason. It was especially crafted for Ralph’s grandparents and was a little more personal. "He made that for his mum and dad and his grandma and grandad and that made it a bit worse," Ralph remarked. The man was heartbroken to visit the cemetery one day and find that it had been broken. He noted that it was “booted over” and the ornaments and all the touches added so lovingly over the years were ruined just like that. "It upsets everybody to see something like this. It's bad enough losing your parents, but then you go to pay respects and you see this, you see it happen and it's terrible,” the bereaved man remarked.
That’s when Coles stepped into the picture. Being a part of the industry that helps people bid goodbye to their loved ones in an honorable way, he knew how painful it all is. He mentioned that graves are often vandalised and the effect it has on grieving members is heartbreaking. "We understand it can be very distressing and very expensive," he said. "You can prepare for this if you know something is going to happen to a family member, but when it's unexpected or vandalism like this, we know it can be lots of money,” Coles added. When he learned that Ralph’s family grave suffered the ruthless reality, he made a generous offer to restore the grave for free.
"When we'd seen it and it was local, something just told me to step forward and help out,” the stonemason said. Ralph obliged and was grateful to know that the grave was not going to be restored as some random sectioned headstone, but just the way it was, with love and concern from a thoughtful professional. When it was all ready and done, Ralph was moved. "It's mended and it's looking brilliant. Superb. It's better than how it looked, that's how good it is,” he remarked.
