Mom-to-be brilliantly explains why people should stop calling pregnant women 'big': 'Don't think it's cute'

Pregnant moms go through many changes during pregnancy and after childbirth. One of the visible ones is their bellies getting larger as the fetus grows. A prominent comment blurted out to pregnant women is regarding their belly bumps or how “big” they’ve gotten over time. While people might mean it as a compliment or out of love, it is not the best thing to say and definitely not something moms want to hear. Soon-to-be mom, Paige Wester (p_west_), honestly revealed that she was done with people calling her “big.” The mom-to-be spoke for many when she said that pregnant women don’t like the comment and it’s more offensive than “cute.” 

“Can we all collectively agree that we should not comment on pregnant women’s bodies?” the mom asked. She recalled her own experience where 2 women came up to her and said that she was “big” in a single outing, adding much frustration to her day. She noted that she is “visibly pregnant” and doesn’t mind people asking when the baby is due but being called “big,” is out of line. “Yesterday, the woman asked me, ‘Oh, when are you due?’ I said July and she’s like, ‘Oh, you’re really big,’” Wester remarked. The other woman also approached the mom-to-be with the same question and followed up by saying, “Oh my gosh, you’re really big.” 

Wester was disturbed after consecutively receiving the comment a second time and said, “I’m not sure how I want to respond to that.” The stranger was left confused, which brought the pregnant woman to point out, “When someone calls you 'big' straight to your face, how are you supposed to react?” She mentioned that there are so many other things one can compliment or topics one can pick to engage in conversation with a pregnant woman. Wester suggested a few examples: “You can say, ‘Your belly bump is so cute, you look adorable,’ or when they tell you the due date, ‘Oh, that’s so exciting.’” 

Concluding with a noteworthy fact, the mom-to-be said, “You would never call someone who is not pregnant ‘big’, so why would you say that to a pregnant woman?”  @lifeofub1 noted, "Not just pregnant women, women in general. I don't think it's cute, I think it's rude." @lizzofrost23 added, "For real. You don't know if someone has body dysmorphia. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." Another mom, Heather Hurt, who shares “unfiltered mom content” on Facebook, spoke for many moms and conveyed that it’s not nice to call out a pregnant woman’s weight or appearance.

“Pregnant women don’t need to hear comments on their weight. Just stop,” she wrote. Women don’t want to hear things like, “Oh, you’re getting big,” or “Is it not twins?” and other phrases. “You might think you’re being funny or making small talk—but to the woman growing a whole human, those words can stick and not in a good way,” she remarked. Hurt further pointed out that women are already taking their time to embrace their changes. “Her clothes don’t fit. Her body aches. She sees the swelling, feels the stretch and watches the scale rise even when she’s doing everything right,” Hurt highlighted.

“She doesn’t need comments on her size. She needs support, reassurance and encouragement,” she wrote. The mom concluded with a beautiful message to reframe how we compliment pregnant women in the future. She wrote, “Let her feel beautiful, powerful and capable. Because she is. Growing a baby is hard enough. Don't make it harder with your words.”

You can follow Paige Wester (@p_west_) on TikTok and Heather Hurt on Facebook for more content on motherhood.