People share 10 little-known relationship 'green flags' that are non-obvious but need your attention
On the hunt for the perfect partner, we often miss out on the most subtle yet significant relationship needs. Here are 10 of them.
When a person gets into a relationship, they hope to have the perfect bond with their partner. A relationship filled with just the right amount of love, fun, trust, and other factors makes it feel like a dream come true. There are many things people look out for in their partners as an assurance that they have picked the right person. These "green flags" are simple reminders that things are going well and one has made the right decision. A green flag in a relationship often accounts for grand gestures like clear communication, selflessness, empathy, and so on. However, there are also other mini versions of green flags that are equally important.
Whether it's your partner remembering the little things about you or them holding the corner of the table so you don't hurt yourself, these non-obvious yet impactful gestures always add value to relationships. On Reddit, u/2020Chapter called on people, asking them to share the "little-known green flags" in a relationship and people had the most wholesome response. With over 11,000 replies, other users shared the mundane and subtle things that keep the relationship going strong. Right from being compatible in silence to dealing with everyday arguments, we have selected the top 10 answers for you:
1. Remembering random details and acting on them
"I drink a lot of water and sometimes my boyfriend would stay until late and I would fall asleep. Before leaving, he always made sure I had a glass full of water on my nightstand in case I woke up thirsty. It's always the small details." -u/babyishAuri "Your partner does things for you without asking and remembers little details. For example, I like eating with a fruit fork so my partner remembers this and will grab it for me when we're dishing up food." -u/SerenityFate
2. Being mature about criticism
"When your significant other takes criticism from you seriously without immediately trying to turn it back on you. If the converse is also true, you two stand a great chance of going the distance." -u/SqueakyCleanNoseDown "For me, the green flag my husband displayed was his ability to take feedback seriously (and not get defensive) and then modify his behavior as a result. That's so rare in this world." -u/Torontopup6 "After me and and my husband argue, even if we can’t look at eachother. We lie in bed holding hands facing opposite ways." -u/istolethesun12
3. Healthy connection even after conflict
"Being able to emotionally connect even after an argument." -u/liamfaganmusic "Being able to have healthy conflict without fear that conflict will cause the end of the relationship. It’s green flag (and a relief) to have natural disagreements and communication about those disagreements without constant fear that someone’s going to hit the nuclear option." -u/raccoons4president "When one of us gets upset, we hold hands and talk things out. It's a weird small thing that's made a huge difference in our relationship." -u/Salsastark
4. Emotional maturity
"I feel like there’s a lot of detailed examples that largely boil down to two things: empathy and emotional maturity." -u/LegendaryGary74 "The most memorable relationships I’ve had in my life were all because both parties had a level of emotional maturity. Breakups weren’t some giant mess but a mutual understanding from both parties.." -u/diemterosen"Emotional maturity/intelligence are huge green flags. Most red flags are caused by the lack thereof." -u/Those_Good_Vibes
5. Taking up challenges great and small together
"If it's a chore you both hate, you do it together. My late husband and I both hated folding laundry, but it had to be done. So we always did it together. Made the chore less of a pain." -u/Alfaalfafloozy "My significant other and I call this 'Power Laundry.' 'Arg I hate doing all this laundry.' 'Wanna power laundry?!' Then both of us power through the pile!" -u/bpetey
6. Taking your opinion seriously
"You recommend them a book or movie and they actually take the time to check it out." -u/eDgAR "Way back, before I started dating my boyfriend we were friends and I suggested a podcast. When he actually checked it out and started raving about it the next week, I was shocked. It was just so odd and nice to feel like my opinion was valued and trusted." -u/alp17 "What about the person who understands that you have different tastes? Someone once recommended a book to me saying: 'I hated it but I know you'll like it.'" -u/androgenoid
7. Forgiving constantly
"Able to forgive mistakes. Early in our relationship, I accidentally backed my car into my Fiance's car while coming out of the driveway. I definitely did damage. He just calmly got out of his car, came up to mine and asked if I was okay. He got me to calm down and said it was fine it was just an accident. He never made me feel bad about it. He called it our little bump to my friends to minimize my embarrassment." -u/KinickieNoodle
8. Compatibility in silence
"The ability to co exist in very companionable silence." -u/kmm91162 "That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the hell up for a minute and comfortably share a silence." -u/mksavage1138 "My wife said to me one time...'I knew you were the one when we sat down at a park together, said nothing, and I felt at peace.'" -u/pinheadbrigade
9. Taking care via subtle gestures
"When you're on a road trip and your partner feeds you fries and helps you drink your soda or whatever. I think that's such a nice simple gesture of kindness." -u/Keikitron "One of the first moments I realized I really loved my boyfriend was when we drove to the Grand Canyon and he just kept feeding me Teddy Graham’s one by one for the whole drive." -u/lucythebumberjack
10. Loving who you are around them
"When you like the person that you become when you're with them. Everyone projects a different version of themselves around different people and if you don't like who you become when you're with someone, it's probably not going to be the healthiest relationship." -u/crasher35 "I guess good relationships all boil down to how similar your values and also how compatible your values are together." -u/diematrosen
