A Harvard professor was asked the secret to a successful marriage. He named the No. 1 thing every woman wants
Marriages are never perfect, but to find success, many factors come into play. A Harvard professor recently spilled the beans on what builds a successful marriage, and the secret has gotten approval from women across the world. In the TikTok video posted on December 4, 2025, under the handle @unplanned_podcast, Dr. Arthur C Brooks spoke at length to hosts Matt and Abby about what constitutes a healthy marriage.
Harvard professor Dr. Arthur Brooks recently appeared on popular internet couple Matt and Abby's podcast, where he shared insights on a successful marriage. Brooks opined that, although women need a lot of important things in life, including respect and responsibility, one thing tops everything. According to the professor, women expect adoration from their husbands. Dr. Brooks believes that most marriages fail because men fail to adore their wives. He reasoned it with evolutionary examples.
"Women make a big investment. I mean, being a parent and feeding a child, that's a huge investment, and that requires commitment and protection." He shared that to showcase the gratitude for the huge investments women make, men need to step up and express their adoration for their wives. "'Like baby, I would fight a tiger for you and only you,' that's adoration, right? And if they don't feel it, it's a huge problem," he said. The professor explained that a lack of adoration in marriages points to a huge lack of commitment, which, unfortunately, leads to the crumbling of relationships.
A 2012 study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology examined several factors that were important for happier marriages. Forgiveness, communication, sincerity, and respect were considered the keys to a happy marriage. The study also touched upon the differences between marriages in Eastern and Western countries, and how certain factors do not apply to marriages depending on various cultures. However, as underlined by Dr. Brooks, love and care for one's partner is considered a common factor in the study as well.
After the post went viral, many users agreed with the professor's view. @lindsay_love16 wrote, "They need to see this type of adoration in action, not just hear the words. You can tell me you would die for me and never really be present, or put me first, and those words mean nothing." @carosyrup59 remarked, "He would fight a tiger for you, but would he wash the dishes for you? It's the little things that make a woman feel the most adored. Saying you would fight a tiger means nothing, honestly, because that's never going to happen and just sounds like words." @EnlightenedBunnyMama commented, "He is 100% correct. Women need adoration (cherished love), and men need admiration (love and respect). When these two align, that’s when there’s chemistry."
@unplanned_podcast Harvard Professor: Why marriages fail & the science of happiness w/ @arthurcbrooks | out now! #unplannedpodcast @matt_and_abby ♬ original sound - The Unplanned Podcast
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