10 signs your partner truly loves you and it’s not just infatuation—it's striking a chord with many

You might have often found yourself questioning whether the love you have for someone or vice versa is genuine or just a passing phase. It can be difficult to differentiate between the two, especially when we're in the initial phases and it's all exciting, intriguing and fascinating. For prolonged and fulfilling relationships, love must be pure, strong and have the capacity to withstand all ups and downs. Only infatuation might work well temporarily, but in the long run, it can cost us. Love is not a major attraction, but the little moments of everyday life. 

Margaret Doherty, a licensed marriage and family therapist, shared the different definitions one can begin to compare with, per The Well. She wrote, "Love is defined as a warm attachment and devotion to another human. Infatuation is defined as a strong feeling of admiration or interest with someone." A user who goes by u/Remarkable_Put_9005 asked people who have experienced either or both to share what differences they discovered. These 10 signs are worth highlighting and could possibly help denote whether there's something lasting to stay or just a fleeting feeling.  

1. Staying when it gets tough

"When they see you at your worst and still treat you with respect and compassion." -u/Icy_Ad5672 "I work in a hospital. We recently had a young lady who was struck by a car. She was hospitalized for weeks. Her boyfriend spent every moment of every day with her while she was hospitalized. She also had to get hospitalized a second time due to complications, and again, he basically lived in her room with her. They are both super young and I was impressed by both of them." - Reddit user

2. 'Fireworks' vs 'peace' 

"People describe love as 'fireworks,' but I think that describes lust. I describe love as 'peace.' It’s great to have both feelings but it's essential to have at least the second feeling." -u/Intelligent-Lion-547 "I usually just say, 'Love feels like bottled lightning on a warm summer night's breeze,' in an attempt to capture both feelings." -u/Joy-Facade

3. Doing the hard work 

"When they are willing to have uncomfortable, hard conversations with you without the ego and apologize for unintentional emotional harm, all while working together to find a solution. (Willingness to do the hard work and grow with you)." -u/Own-Answer-6855

4. Being selfless

"When they want what’s best for you, even if it doesn’t include them." -u/zeephaahdeedoodah "I experienced this recently. It's me who wants them to be happy, no matter what and that doesn't include me right now. It's f**king hard. But it can be a rewarding experience as well. I've learned a lot about myself because of it." -u/user

5. Comfort in the silence

"You can share silence." -u/digitaldrummer "I’m an introverted person and this just made me realize how sharing silence actually matters. For me, it sometimes gets awkward with a few people when a conversation ends. You're just stuck there with silence…but being with someone you love and are comfortable with makes silence feel so normal. No need to mention anything or keep a conversation going and whatnot." -u/ExactAnswer10101

6. Loving yourself a little more

"You love yourself more the longer you’re together. Throughout our relationship, my partner has debunked subconscious negative internal ideas I didn’t even know I had about myself (i.e., my inner bully). Oftentimes, it’s not like a big discussion about something. I feel it’s like their reaction to one little thing I say that alters my perception. After years together, I can’t believe how much I didn’t like or know myself!" -u/Snugglepotpie

7. Overlooking the outer surface

"They listen deeply and they remember the details. Their effort goes beyond looks — they’re drawn to your mind and soul, not just your face and body. They show up when it’s hard, through conflict, distance, and emotional lows, while lust tends to vanish when the spark fades. With them, you feel safe, not just desired. They’re patient and loyal and they stay by your side even when things get difficult or when you’re sick, upset, or not looking your best." -u/Fiendpulse

8.  'Healing' not 'fixing'

"When you know each other's weaknesses, you don’t try to fix them; you just help them through the situation. However, that may be." -u/Wax_Lyrical "They support your growth. If they cheer you on with your dreams (even the wild ones), or stand beside you while you heal, grow, or just try to get through a tough patch—that’s love." -u/Ok_Dress_5276

9. Being 'emotionally attuned' 

"They protect you without trying to control you. Not just physically, but emotionally too. They watch your back, stand up for you, and want you to feel safe, all while respecting your independence. They notice when you’re not okay, even if you say, 'I’m fine.' If they gently check in because they sense something’s off, it means they’re emotionally attuned to you."  -u/Ok_Dress_5276

10. Accepting who you are wholeheartedly

"When they see you being a goofball or insecure or something and they don't get visibly annoyed. Visibly annoyed that you're a real person with flaws and quirks. Run away from the people who want you to be just a pleasant mask." -u/NotOnApprovedList