Dad decorating for Christmas had quiet realization about his kids' core memories—and it changed how he showed up for them
There’s a strange shift in life that happens when you become a parent, isn’t it? One day, you’re the kid playing and enjoying. Then one day, you realise, you are a parent, the person setting the table, choosing the music, deciding what matters for the child. It’s almost unnoticeable until a moment that comes with unexpected shock. That moment arrived for Ethan Lapierre (@withethanlap) on TikTok, a father of two from New England and it sparked a realization that resonated with parents across social media. In a video that resonated with many, Lapierre shared what he called one of the “craziest parts of parenthood.” It was the understanding that parents aren’t just raising children, they’re actively shaping the memories for them.
“You spend your whole life collecting these core memories,” Lapierre said in his clip. “The Christmas traditions, the family dinners, the snow days, whatever it was, those tiny moments have shaped who you are. And then one day, you're standing there like, cutting the crust off a sandwich or putting your kids in their favorite PJs and it hits you like, oh, wow. I'm the adult now. I'm the one responsible for creating these core memories.”
Lapierre realized this while decorating the Christmas tree with his wife, Sarah and their children.“While we were decorating, I just started thinking, ‘I really hope they remember these times’ because they're everything to me,” he told Newsweek. That thought led him backward, to his own childhood. Many of Lapierre’s earliest memories formed around age four or five, the same age his son is now. “He's going to start to remember these moments and how he feels during them from here on out,” he said. “It really made me conscious of the fact that I want to make sure I'm creating an environment that my kids remember fondly.”
For the Lapierre family, that environment isn’t built around grand gestures or carefully curated experiences. Instead, they are as simple as movie nights at home, doughnut runs to the bakery nearby and evenings without screens. “We make up the craziest games, wrestle, run around, build towers [and] forts, you name it,” Lapierre said. “It's my favorite time of the day.”
Research highlights the importance of those everyday interactions. A study published by Frontiers in Psychology in PubMed Central highlights that parental accompaniment, the time parents spend alongside their children during daily life and leisure, is a key factor in promoting children’s well-being.
Lapierre’s TikTok video has garnered over 280,000 views, with parents flooding the comments to share their own realizations. “For them it’s core memories and for us it’s a Tuesday,” wrote @kasserole03. Another TikToker, @kellyrenee89, summed up the feeling, “It’s beautiful and terrifying at the same time.” @sistapamples shared about her fear as a parent, “No this actually keeps me up at night.”
The TikToker acknowledges how easily this awareness can turn into pressure, especially in an age shaped by social media comparison. But he offers a gentler perspective. “Everyone's life is so accessible now,” Lapierre shared while speaking to Newsweek. “But if you're already thinking about getting it right, that means you want to make the best choices possible for your kids. That's getting it right in my book.”
@withethanlap Parenthood is really all about creating those core memories for you kids that they’ll be nostalgic for someday. #parenthood #parenting #parents #nostaliga #corememories ♬ original sound - Ethan Lapierre
You can follow Ethan Lapierre (@withethanlap) for more parenting and relatable content.
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