Dad maintained a record of 'all the dumb things' son did as a kid - every entry is an absolute comedic gold

Nothing prepares you for the unhinged moments of parenting. Toddlers go completely bonkers in their formative years. In the process of learning, parents can expect everything. Nothing is off-limits. u/pandadogunited shared a post on Reddit, revealing some of the ruthlessly hilarious things he’d done as a child. The man’s dad used to record all of these epic moments since the early 2000s and he shared all of those entries in a post on Reddit. Reading the mind-boggling instances from the dad’s perspective has us bawling with laughter. The man shared that he changed the name recorded in the diary for privacy purposes. 

Each entry in the diary was from the dad's POV. One from 2007 read, “James was becoming old enough to notice that people change physically as they get older.” The dad decided to show him childhood pictures of him and his brother David. “One was of David as a newborn. I said, ‘Look James, there is a picture of David when he came out of mommy's belly.’ To which he looked at Jennifer and in a confused voice, asked, ‘You ate him?’" In another entry from early 2008, James had a problem where he’d bite his classmates at daycare. His mum tried to reprimand him and said, “You should not bite your friends." However, the tiny tot was baffled and had the best response. The entry revealed, “Confused, James replied, ‘You want me to bite myself?’ (He had a bit of trouble understanding that he should not be biting anyone.)”

Another instance hysterically noted the mispronunciations the little boy was proudly muttering. The dad noted, “Two mispronunciations from James. ‘I have the stummy ache.’ And for Coconutty Bowling (a Disney Playhouse internet game) ‘Kookaknockie Bowling.’” Furthermore, the dad recorded one bizarre entry where James learned that boys and girls have different physical features. The entry mentioned, “David asks, ‘Daddy, why don't girls have hair on their bodies and they don't have p**ises?’” The dad was sure to simply explain that “girls are different from boys.” But James had some insights to offer. The post read, “James says, decisively and proud of his knowledge, ‘They pee out of their tooshies.’"

There were many instances where the boy would just throw away his clothes and run around in underpants. This next anecdote from 2009 had us rolling on the floor with laughter. 3-and-a-half-year-old James was with his dad when he spotted an elderly man, roughly in his 70s, as the entry described. It further read, “James extends his arm, points his finger at the man and loudly exclaims, ‘Look Daddy, an old person!’” The dad was embarrassed after mischievous James emphasized the “old.” His dad told him it wasn’t nice to point and immediately tried to distract him. The dad wrote, “I was just about to ask him which munchkin was his favorite when James blurts out, with equal loudness, ‘He may die tomorrow!’” 

One of the last entries was of James’ dad expressing his love to him. He’d say, “James, I love you. You're my buddy. Did I tell you that today?" However, the tiny boy back then wasn’t too happy with the mushy love. His epic response was, "Yes. You tell me that all the time. Starting to get on my nerves.” People loved revisiting the priceless memories of the man as a kid. u/packross wrote, ‘I love these. I wish I'd done the same with my kids.” u/OutandDown27 added, “I think it's amazing that your dad took and kept these notes and that he shared them with you. It was delightful!”