Dad was shattered when 9-year-old son with rare cancer said, 'I gotta quit' — his response broke people's hearts
It can be heartbreaking for parents whose child has a chronic illness like cancer. However, it is even more devastating for the child, who learns to accept that they might not come out of it. No parent wants to hear their child isn’t going to make it. In moments like these, love echoes the loudest in the sacrifices, in the pain, and in letting go. Bill Kohler was shattered when his 9-year-old son, Ayden, told him that he couldn’t battle cancer anymore and that he wanted to quit, per York Daily Record. The dad summoned all of his strength and love to respond to his ailing son with words that got imprinted on the hearts of many.
Ayden was battling DIPG (Diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma), a rare brain tumor. The tumor spreads fast and around 300 children in the United States are diagnosed with the heartbreaking condition every year, per the National Cancer Institute. Out of American pediatric cancer patients, only 2% have DIPG. Dr. Kenneth Cohen, head of the pediatric brain tumor program at Johns Hopkins Hospital, confronted Ayden’s parents with the bitter truth. He noted that the condition is as good as a death sentence and treatment can only prolong life but not eradicate the outcome. Despite knowing this, like any other parent, they provided treatment and began embracing their son’s end of life.
Ayden was given 12 months to live. After 4 months, the 10-year-old knew there was something devastating about to follow. “Hey, Dad, am I dying?” he asked. The dad had to be honest while doing his best to protect his son, so he could continue fighting. So he told him that people with the same condition do die. In each moment his parents had with him, they did everything they could for and with Ayden. However, 7 months after treatments, medications and whatnot, the 10-year-old couldn’t hold on. “Dad, I gotta quit,” he said. Ayden let his dad know that he couldn't eat or breathe and his dad assured him there were tubes and machines to help. This didn’t provide any hope for the boy.
His words stabbed his father’s heart, but he knew it was coming from a place of pain and fighting for what felt like forever. Though it meant the end of his world, Bill knew he couldn’t be selfish. He prioritized love. He told his son, "I'll make you a promise. If you've fought as much as you can and as hard as you can, I promise you it's okay to quit." Ayden fought for 4 days after he said he wanted to quit. On 22nd March, 2017, the 10-year-old was nearing his last moments. The hospice nurse took note of the boy’s last wish to be at home during his final hours and called his parents to the room.
The last day was unimaginable. The boy was barely responsive, but his heart was beating. His heart kept beating long after the boy breathed his last. In a post on Facebook, the dad wrote, “We have lost our battle today. Ayden has passed to a better place.” In an audio recorded by the outlet, the dad left the mic on as he was called to his room to meet his dying boy. When he entered, he found out Ayden was gone. The dad left his last message, “You wanted to be in a better place and now you can go there. Go run again. Play again. You’ve given me purpose in life, I won’t let you down. I love you, son.”
People's hearts broke for the dad, who so selflessly gave away the few months he may have had with his son for the boy's peace. Tim Horn said, "My thoughts and prayers go out to them in this difficult time." Shawn Preston added, "I could never begin to imagine your pain." Marlyse McAdam Moran remarked, "I'm so heartbroken but so happy that Ayden is playing football in heaven." Brad Cleck said, "Bill Kohler set quite an example of what true father's love looks like."
You can learn more about Kohler's foundation, which was started in honor of Ayden towards treating and funding DIPG, here.