Disheartened granddaughter says her grandma only favored boys in the family and seems like she's not alone

The idea of preferring boys to girls has been a stigma built in several traditional families. The age-old concept of disliking female children and prioritizing males has been a heavy burden for many daughters. From the time they were toddlers, many girls relate to being the secondary child, given the least importance by their moms or families. A woman, Aly Kima (@alykima), shared that this devastating reality doesn’t involve just moms but also grandparents. She explained that “boy moms” are not the only people who carelessly ignore the needs of their daughters but there are “boy grandmas” too. Kima learned this tragic truth through her own heartbreaking childhood. 

The woman began by sharing that this discrimination had been ongoing ever since her mother was a child. “My grandmother had three children, two girls and a boy and she always preferred my uncle, the boy. He was a golden child who could do no wrong,” Kima explained. She added that when she and her cousin brothers were born, despite being the only granddaughter, she was treated as the least among the other grandchildren. She was pushed to believe that the love was only for boys. “She would attend special milestones for my male cousins and my brother and just not go to mine,” Kima explained. She also recalled a painstaking scenario from her childhood that revealed the inequality prevalent. 

“Something that I remember vividly from when I was really little was she had these stuffed bears, and whoever was sitting next to her, would hold the other bear. I was never asked to sit next to her,” the woman noted. The bias was so bad that Kima had no recollection of any affectionate moments with her grandmother. Feeling constantly left out, the woman noted how everything her grandmother did always prioritized her male cousins and brother and left her last and sometimes even off the list. One of her most disheartening memories was being scolded by her grandmother for eating a breadstick at a family, telling her it was “inappropriate.” 

Kima spoke for several women when she shared her upsetting childhood. She was even brought to tears explaining that her parents had to sit her grandmother down and fix things. Even after that, the grandmother refused to believe she was in the wrong and went on to assure the woman that she did love her despite the visible bias. “It messed with my head a little bit, especially in my developmental years, feeling like if I wasn't perfect, that I wasn't worth loving,” she remarked. 

Several women agreed with Kima. @dondestadulce wrote, “My dad’s mom hated me because ‘I took his boy away.’” @anelia_st added, “My grandma hated all of us girls. He just liked our boy cousin.” @ldrewnaik_3 recalled, “My grandma told my sister ‘it’s a shame’ when she told her she was pregnant with a girl.” Kima shared a message for all parents to be mindful of how they treat their children and the drastic impacts it can have. “It has generational effects on your kids and your grandkids. They just want to feel loved, they just want to feel appreciated, and joking about those things is not funny, it's not cool and it stays with a person for their whole life,” she highlighted.

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