Divorce lawyer says the secret to a happier life is one thing women should learn from men — and she sees it in every case

Happiness is not instinctive for everyone; many have to figure out how to embrace it and make it part of their lives. Having seen multiple cases, divorce lawyer Lena (@lawyerlenanguyen) revealed in a recent TikTok video the secret to a happier life, which women must learn from men. On February 7, 2026, the lawyer emphasized how one thing men do makes them feel most fulfilled in life, unlike women.

Lena noted that women must learn to become more selfish in life, like men. "Male selfishness is not a flaw; it's a strategy," she said. Men are never taught to be ashamed of prioritizing themselves over others. Women, on the other hand, are often expected to put others first and feel guilty when doing so leaves them exhausted. When men choose to prioritize their convenience, they are never called heartless for it. However, women are only praised for selflessness. From her everyday marital cases, Lena observed that men protect their assets and time, while women worry about being kind, reasonable, and accommodating toward their partners.

Lena added that choosing oneself consistently comes with many advantages, including stability and peace. She cited examples of men leaving relationships and abandoning partners that no longer serve them, while women continue to carry emotional and financial burdens by hesitating to say no. She clarified that her intention was not to encourage women to become "cruel," but rather to become intentional and stop confusing self-abandonment with love. "Healthy selfishness is not selfish at all; life should pay you back and not drain you," she said.

Lena's sentiments echo the social conditioning women have faced for generations. Women are always praised for being accommodating and self-sacrificing. Young girls are often encouraged to compromise to protect peace, but until they realize exactly whose peace they are protecting, it may be too late. As a result, women often internalize the idea of giving up for others and making other people's problems their responsibilities, while men are given the option to center their needs above everything else.

Soon after her post gained traction, many users agreed with her views. @Roxanne mentioned, "Men are not ashamed to prioritize themselves because they have never been systematically shamed for prioritising themselves; we have generations of programming to undo, but so glad we are doing it." @Clarissa C remarked, "This is why I'll never get married! It literally does not benefit me in any way! It’s actually embarrassing. And I feel so much pity for women who get married or are married." @siberianginseng penned, "My husband's motto is literally 'say yes to you, say no to them.' He taught me so much about being selfish and standing up for what I want."

For more fun and interesting videos, follow @lawyerlenanguyen on TikTok.

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