Exhausted wife mourning dad stands up for herself after husband belittles her for not cooking as per his needs
When someone loses a loved one, the best thing we can offer is support and empathy. It is a delicate time for the person who has suffered the loss and we should understand their need to take a step back and grieve. A woman, who goes by u/inkyflossy on Reddit, revealed that her husband was insensitive after she lost her father. While the woman was mourning, her husband expected her to go about her daily chores and complained if they weren't done. The exhausted woman was pushed to boldly respond to his careless demands.
The woman shared a background that her husband was neurodivergent and had problems with daily functioning. He also had a restricted diet and as his partner, she felt okay to cook per his needs. Unfortunately, things became hectic and overwhelming for her. “Any attempts to cook for me have lasted about one night before he is overwhelmed and frazzled and so, I just go back to cooking as it's what I have always done," the woman wrote. She added, "I also pay all the bills, manage the household, take care of the dogs, do the laundry, clean the house and work my own jobs. I am an academic and work at two schools."
The wife mentioned that the husband developed an “allergy” to chicken being cooked on the stove or an electric toaster. Additionally, he had too much fuss about eating other food items and meats and wanted his food prepared in a troubling and specific way. Despite the inconvenience it caused, he refused to take medication or visit an allergist or rheumatologist. While the woman was trying to handle all these things, her dad passed away. “He died in my arms after 10 months of illness, during which time I became his medical and financial power of attorney. He died hardly more than two weeks ago,” she said.
She added that since her dad's demise, it had been hard for her to cater to the man’s increasingly overwhelming demands about cooking. “I know I am not helping; I am exhausted, I am traumatized by the death, I am lost,” she remarked. The woman added that her being unable to cook when she can, and having to center around her husband’s preferences by taking time away from her job was more distressing.
The wife noted, “I realized that perhaps I needed to remove myself from this whole emotional food-centered loop and told my husband he can cook and shop for himself and I will cook and shop for myself and the dogs." The man was upset about the conclusion but the woman took a stand despite feeling helpless about it. People lauded her for thinking about her health first. u/Aware-Welcome6688 wrote, “Listen to yourself — you are exhausted, traumatized, lost and angry. If anyone needs self-care, it’s you.” u/AnitaTacoTwo added, “Your husband needs to deal with his problem his way and not drag you down with him.” u/jaybull222 remarked, “You husband is failing you when you need him the most.” u/importantErrorXX said, “You can't tear yourself apart trying to take care of the needs of everyone else.
