Man shares theory why your closest relationship will always be a co-worker
For someone who has ever leaned back in an office chair after a tiring day and exchanged that look with a coworker, the feeling is familiar. No explanation, no backstory required. Only some common experiences born from deadlines, difficult bosses and instances that felt impossible to describe once you checked out. It’s a kind of bond that doesn’t follow you home; however, in a way, it never fully leaves you. That shared experience is what Jake Clay (@jakeclaynyc) tapped into with a video that has since gone viral, which was uploaded on Instagram. The video has crossed over 2.1 million views, with viewers who recognized themselves immediately.
Walking down a Manhattan street, phone in hand, Clay highlighted his take on modern work life. “The strongest relationship is a coworker that you're trauma-bonded with,” Clay shared in the video. “Nobody's seen evil like you've seen evil together. Nobody knows the war zone that you've walked. You can't even explain it because people won't believe you. Secrets that could take down a company, an industry; that's a bond that tethers you for life.” It wasn’t presented as research or psychology, but just a keen observation delivered with a comic twist and exaggeration. Still, the response suggested Clay wasn’t as wrong. Comment sections quickly filled with people recollecting having co-workers who understood them in ways even close friends sometimes couldn’t.
@nyr_uinen, shared just how lasting those connections can be, writing, “That's so true. My bestie and I met in dire working conditions and 35 years later we remain closer than family, really.” Others resonated with the sentiment in fewer words, like @saudaminideo’s knowing, “Oh man, do I have experience with this” and @prachigupta.83’s simple conclusion: “Those coworkers are my best friends now.” “I think everyone can relate to having a deranged boss, rude supervisors and having their work bestie who gets it in a way even their best friends can't,” Clay told Newsweek. “I still speak to co-workers I went through crazy work dynamics with. Everyone has that bonded-through-trauma coworker relationship that stands the test of time.”
Such bonds get so strong for some reasons. According to the Pew Research Center, 67 percent of workers feel they are extremely or very satisfied with their relationships with co-workers. Mutual challenges, daily vicinity and a sense of “we’re in this together” can silently build trust over time, sometimes faster than relationships formed elsewhere.
This journey into content creation rose for Clay out of similar work experiences. Prior to trending online, he worked at an investment bank on Wall Street, where he hesitated in the beginning to post after one of his early videos gained traction.
“I got scared of the attention because I thought I would lose my job and didn't post for a year after that,” he said. “Then I thought, what do I have to lose, and left the job to pursue content full-time.”
Now, his videos blend comedy, honesty and just enough drama to feel friendly. “My content is an interesting mix of me being serious about what I say but infusing an element of outlandishness,” Clay explained. “You never know if I'm being dramatic or dead serious.” For most of his audience, this balance reflects the very relationships he’s talking about, grown in pressure, shaped by mutual experiences and remembered long after the workday ends.
You can follow Jake Clay (@jakeclaynyc) on Instagram for more lifestyle content.