Man with dementia 'freaked out' when daughter called him dad — her response helped him 'accept' her

One of the heartbreaking challenges of dementia is losing memory to the point where the patient does not recognize their family members. A woman named Bailey Rose–who goes by @baileyrosek on TikTok–revealed that her dad was diagnosed with dementia in 2022. As a result, he was starting to forget his loved ones, including his daughters. She shared an instance where her dad was “freaking out” when she addressed him as “dad.” However, Rose had an empathetic and heartfelt way to comfort him. She engaged in a soothing conversation that slowly assured him that he was safe and that the duo shared a bond defined by love. 

People with dementia tend to have memory issues due to damage to the brain, according to the Alzheimer’s Society. It affects how they record new memories and remember old ones. In the latter stages of dementia, things get so serious that people can’t remember their names or faces, per Optoceutics. It might also cause them to forget their relationship with family and loved ones and affect how they recognize them. It is something Rose’s dad was facing. “You calling me dad is freaking me out,” the dad said. She let out a little chuckle and said, “Why?” To this, the dad replied, “Because I don’t think I’m your dad.”

Instead of getting dejected, Rose put on a different attitude and decided to respond with humor and love. “You could be my dad,” she said to him. He kept looking at Rose intently and felt that there was something to her words. “I could be someone to you,” he said. Rose agreed and listened intently, and then heard her dad express love in a wholesome way. “You could be somebody because I have some feelings for you. You’re important to me,” he said. He was trying his best to capture what he was feeling, and Rose was open to accepting it all, knowing it came from a place of love.

The dad further mentioned that though he was uncertain of his relationship with Rose, he felt safe around her. “Well, okay, then, I guess it doesn’t matter. If all you know is you feel safe around me and I love you and you love me, that’s okay,” she cheerfully said. It was a bittersweet moment for the duo. “But in my heart, you’re my dad and you’re always gonna be my dad. If that’s okay with you.” Though confused, he replied, “Yes, that works.” The duo then got down to deciding how to address each other. “I can call you Scott, and you can call me Bailey,” Rose said. 

The dad looked at her and said, “That’s okay, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings. We’re family.” Though slowly, indirectly and differently, Rose received the acknowledgment from her dad and it was beautiful because it was filled with love. Rose shared several instances on her TikTok page about caring for her dad and continuing to build her bond with him after his diagnosis. In a recent video, she shared a video of her dad celebrating his 61st birthday. Despite his dementia, he donned a t-shirt that read “DAD” proudly and celebrated with his family. Rose has started a GoFundMe to raise money for her dad's treatment. So far, $5,255 has been raised, with much encouragement and love for the family. When logic and reasoning can’t make their way, love flows and pushes through! 

You can follow Bailey Rose (@baileyrosek) on TikTok for more content on family, dementia and caregiving.