Mom loses it when nurse starts body shaming 13-year-old healthy daughter — her spot-on comeback earns praise
The teenage phase is one full of bodily and other changes. Going through such development, teenagers deserve support and acceptance from society. Unfortunately, many are body-shamed because of their weight and it has unhealthy effects on the child’s self-esteem and identity. A mom named Julie Venn refused to settle when her 13-year-old daughter, Riley, was body-shamed by a nurse. Despite being a medical professional, the nurse chose to make comments about her weight, leaving her upset and confused. The mom had a top-notch response for the nurse.
Venn mentioned that her daughter was getting a physical examination. When the nurse arrived to check on her and take the necessary information, she asked Riley several questions. Most revolved around her participation in sports, quality sleep, school, mental health and so on. The nurse seemed to be “pressing” the 13-year-old about her school and sports-related questions. After asking about her menstrual cycle, “The nurse then looks down at her computer, then back up at Riley's face and says to my 13-year-old daughter, ‘Tell me Riley, how can you explain all of this weight you’ve gained?’” the mom revealed. The mother and daughter were both speechless at the remark.
The nurse quickly proceeded to mention that her last year’s and current weight didn’t “correlate,” adding the question of whether she had been eating too much junk food. According to Clear Behavioral Health, around 90% of teenage girls and 60% of teenage boys suffer from body shaming. “I lost my mind. I had a literal, physical reaction. I put my hand up and said, 'Stop! You need to stop talking to my daughter about her weight. She is 13, she is strong. She is healthy and she is perfect. You need to move on!’” Venn remarked. The nurse completed her work with Riley and then took Venn aside to ask why she reacted the way she did.
“I explained in no uncertain terms that she was out of line in the way she dealt with my daughter. Our girls need to be empowered, supported, and celebrated. They already have to compare themselves to the ridiculous social media standards,” Venn explained, adding that there are enough unhealthy comparisons online to create stereotypes in young minds. “Their whole freaking lives have a filter on them! I hammer home the importance of eating healthy, exercising, and of course, sports because we are sporty people. But kids eat junk food! Kids sit around watching Netflix! Kids get heavier, lighter, taller and wider! It's normal!”
The nurse proceeded to defend herself, saying kids control what they eat and do. To this, Venn replied, “She’s 13!” and added that the mom is still majorly responsible for the meals and much of their lifestyle. The mom-daughter duo left and refused to go back. "Riley’s response when we left was, ‘Mom, this is why kids have anorexia or feel like they want to hurt themselves.” She is exactly right!” Venn remarked. The upset and surprised mom shared that practicing acceptance as a nurse would have left a profoundly positive impact on a teenager like Riley.
The mom suggested that the nurse could have said something like, “I see you have started to grow into being a strong young woman and that is awesome! Know that some girls gain weight, some lose weight, some struggle with acne, some feel insecure but remember this - You are perfect just the way you are." The mom added that the nurse could have also talked about teens getting responsibility for more things related to their bodies, such as "hygiene, activity, menstruation, exercise and healthy eating." It might seem scary and confusing sometimes, but it is worth it. Many parents praised Venn for her perception and response. Brandy Renee Jay said, "That NP had no right telling your daughter that." Karen Jeanne added, "Agree 100%." Roberta Robbers said, "I'm so glad you spoke up right away. Cheers to you, mom."