Parenting coach explains 'pushing boundaries' and shares a brilliant way to get kids to listen to you without yelling

One of the toughest phases of parenting has to be getting kids to listen. This often gets parents exhausted, leaving them no choice but to yell or be stern in their approach to their kids. Tia Slightman, popularly known as @parentingcoach on TikTok, suggested that there’s a reason behind the same. The woman pointed out that this act of having kids adhere only when a parent has reached their full potential and is screaming is built over time.

“Do you want to know why your kids don’t listen until you finally yell and lose your shit?” she asked. Slightman brilliantly pointed out that parents are subconsciously setting a boundary for kids to pay attention only after parents have exhausted their patience in asking nicely. “I’m not pointing my finger at you and I’m not blaming you but kids will do what works,” she explained. Slightman pointed out that kids are born with the concept of “pushing boundaries,” and won’t listen until the boundaries are formed. She also said that this is probably the reason why it takes kids a whole lot of asking nicely, nagging and finally “losing one’s s*it” to get them to do what they need to do.

Slightman, who has been working with parents for 16 years, has been developing and encouraging parenting techniques for her own kids, as well as, students and thousands of other kids, per Bored Panda. “They learn that they don’t need to listen the first time, they feel they don’t need to listen when you’re nagging, asking nicely or in the evening reminding them. They listen when a boundary is set,” Slightman added. The woman, thus came to the conclusion that this nagging or shouting is what ultimately becomes the boundary for kids. However, she also pointed out a way out and said that parents need to set better boundaries.

“You need to set clear, concrete, consistent boundaries so your kids know upfront what you need them to do,” Slightman explained. Sharing another tip to make this work, she suggested “focusing on shifting the child’s behavior,” instead of “shifting the parenting.” The parenting strategy parents need to use should be devoid of yelling. Slightman also offered a 12-week online coaching program, The Parenting With Purpose Method. “It is my methodology that guides parents to create battle-free days with their kids. No yelling, anger, punishment or guilt! Finally having kids who listen, cooperate, and act respectfully in a non-combative way!” she explained.

Parents are on board with trying this no-yelling method to save their energy and bond with their kids. @zenmamaparentcoach said, “Yes, I agree with this. We 100% hold the power to change ourselves as parents.” @tamaralalcoaching said, “Such a good point, this is definitely something I experience.” @jessieobrien99 added, “We have been working on this and have noticed quite an improvement in the last few weeks.” @jenny_am_ wrote, “I used to yell often, now I just give clear directions.” 

You can follow Tia Slightman (@prentingcoach) on TikTok for more content on parenting.