Mom shares how she finally got her kids to help her with chores—it's never too late

Teaching kids how to do basic chores is a good aspect of parenting, as it would be helpful for them to learn how to fend for themselves as they grow up. However, many parents find themselves at their wits' end because a child might not want to do chores. Also, they could either do the task imperfectly or take loads of time to complete it. However, there is a way to get kids to do their chores and to set the stage for continued interest in how to do their work better. A child development expert shared some tips with a mom that would encourage children to help around the house, per TODAY.

The mom shared that although her kids were excited to help her, she would find it hard to work with them, as it took her longer to do the same thing with her kids around. Also, she would do the same chore again once her kids were done with it. For instance, the mom would refold laundry because she felt it hadn't been done properly. Dr. Deborah Gilboa, a child development expert, shared a message for parents of special needs kids. "Don’t give your child a chore that you're going to come along and redo after them. What you’re teaching them is they’re not valuable." The expert encouraged parents to give their kids a chore or a part of a chore that they can do easily. "If they can’t sweep up the broken glass, then you say, 'OK, you hold the dustpan.'"

Gilboa expressed that parents should make kids do things that they want to do as adults in their own homes. "There’s no 'It’s too late to start chores' if your kids still live with you." She added, "God willing, you might visit your child in his apartment and you might have to pee. 'Oh no, I saw your bathroom, I’ll go to the gas station around the corner.'" A parent can teach their child how to do chores by decluttering their spaces and making it easier for kids to get around with chores, per the outlet. The mom, JiaYing Grygiel, kept only the cheap IKEA dishes in her dish drawer for a while so she wouldn't be bothered even if kids broke a few dishes. Another important thing to note is that some kids pick chores right away while others will take more time to learn them, but they can get there with practice and repetition.

The child development expert also cautioned parents against paying their kids to do their chores. "Don’t do allowances unless you yourself get paid to clean your bathroom." Dr. Martha Deiros Collado (@dr.martha.psychologist on Instagram), a clinical psychologist, shared a similar opinion. "A financial reward creates extrinsic motivation and gives chores a whole new meaning," she shared in a video's caption. "Now a child participates for the reward, not because they feel a sense of responsibility or want to contribute. And when children expect compensation for their work, they are less likely to help others without being rewarded." She suggested that parents should value a kid's work and develop a strong bond with them to ensure they do the chores to be "part of something" and have intrinsic motivation for the task at hand.

Jenny Hale, a senior parenting coach, shared that even though it might take a lot of focus and effort from the parents' part, they should still encourage their children to participate in chores, per Parenting Place. She pointed out that parents of older children can have a "reset meeting" and explain why they must take part in chores. Although one might be met with some resistance, it is important to keep at it. "They will quietly love the sense of achievement and self-worth as they pitch in," Hale remarked. A 2022 study from La Trobe University found that making kids do chores regularly can be associated with better academic performance and problem-solving skills as well. The study collected data from parents of 207 children between the ages of five and thirteen and concluded that age-appropriate chores can help children do well in other areas of life, too.