Mom teaches son the most important lesson about 'no people pleasing' by using two cups of water and rocks

It can be difficult to teach young children about abstract values. While their minds are still developing, they may not understand what confidence, negativity or even self-love means. Nevertheless, parents try their best to explain to them in a simpler way that they can resonate with. A mom who goes by @queen_gee on TikTok revealed that she taught her little boy about people pleasing and why it must be avoided using an ingenious analogy. The mom made use of two cups of water and a bottle of rocks and it was crystal clear to the boy how people pleasing damages our core and who we really are. 

The woman laid out two cups of clear water ahead of her son. She placed a green peg to represent his “confidence, self-love and someone who is not a people pleaser.” On the other hand, the yellow peg represented someone with “low confidence, low self-esteem and someone who doesn’t really love himself.” The mom made it very clear that pleasing people is an active choice to do something for someone to gain their approval even if it upsets you. She went on to explain that the bottle with the mud and rocks were different kinds of people—family, friends and even others whom we come across in our daily lives.

“If you have a group of friends and all of them say they hate braids but you know you love braids in your hair. If they say they love straight, long hair and you say you love straight, long hair too, even though you don’t because you want their validity, you let the negativity inside of you,” the mom explained, pouring a few rocks into the glass standing by the yellow peg. Sharing another example, the woman noted, “Say you’re with a group of friends and you’re laughing loudly at a park and they say they don’t like you laughing like that and you stop, are you letting their negativity inside of you or not?” Having understood by now, the boy responded. “Yes.” The mom added more of the debris to the cup with the yellow peg, making it mucky, dirty water. 

She then asked her son, “If you are laughing with your friends and they say they don’t like it. But, you decide to stand up for yourself and not seek their validation and walk away and find new friends, are you letting their negativity get inside you?” “No,” the boy responded. The mom then showed the boy the two glasses, the green peg one being crystal clear as before and the other all brown and dirty. “When you let negative thoughts and opinions get to you, you’re pouring all the negativity inside of you,” she explained. She added that when you don’t allow the same, “you stay fresh, clean and happy, you love yourself and are confident.” 

The mom emphasized that even she or any family or loved ones didn’t have the right to push anyone into negativity. “I’ve learned that if someone tells me they don’t like how I am, I must speak up and say, ‘Well, that’s your opinion. That doesn’t matter to me,’” the boy remarked. @kandalys wrote, “I wish I was taught this growing up, you did a wonderful job explaining.” @bwsr.x added, “This is parenting." 

You can follow (@queengee) on TikTok for more content on motherhood and parenting.