Nurse tried to talk him out of a vasectomy after 4 kids, saying it’s ‘easier’ if his wife does it — his reply left no room for debate
Women’s reproductive health is something people often have opinions about, even when they do not fully understand what women actually go through. That can be frustrating on its own. But nothing battles education and knowledge, backed with support and love. That is what Caitlyn (@themodernmidwife) experienced after her husband went in for a vasectomy appointment following the birth of their fourth baby. The nurse and midwife revealed that the couple had thought their decision through before he went into the clinic. However, his decision was judged and ignored by not just one but two female medical professionals. She shared the story on March 31, 2026, and it has since gained over 3M views.
@themodernmidwife “Why can’t your wife just get a tubal” 🤡 #vasectomy #midwife #womenshealth ♬ original sound - Caitlyn | Modern Midwife
According to Caitlyn, the first pushback came from a nurse who questioned why he wanted a vasectomy at all, despite the couple already deciding they were done having children after four kids. She then reportedly asked why his wife was not the one getting a tubal ligation instead. The man didn't hesitate before revealing two major truths. One about his knowledge and awareness, and the second about his wife's expertise. Her husband responded that a tubal ligation is far more complicated than a vasectomy and comes with greater risk and recovery. He also pointed out that his wife is a midwife who works in women’s health, making this an area she knows well. Even after that explanation, the nurse allegedly dismissed the point and continued to judge the decision. The fact that another woman and a nurse still feel it is the obligation of a woman is what is shocking. However, the man knew what he wanted and did not get shaky.
The creator explained that their decision did not come out of nowhere. It came after years of what her body had already endured through pregnancy. "I’ve gone through the first trimester of morning sickness. I’ve had multiple vaginal births. I’ve had an epidural headache. I’ve gotten mastitis. I’ve had postpartum depression,” she said, adding that her body had been “broken, then healed, then broken, then healed” multiple times over. Because of that, she said her husband never questioned getting a vasectomy and simply saw it as his turn. Yet even now, it is often assumed that preventing future pregnancies should still fall back on the woman, despite everything pregnancy can already demand of her.
What made the situation worse, according to Caitlyn, was that the obstacles did not stop with the nurse. She said the provider also seemed to make the process harder than it needed to be. Even though the chart reportedly noted that he wanted to discuss a vasectomy, the provider did not bring it up during the visit and appeared to ignore it until he mentioned it again himself near the end. When he asked what to expect next, she allegedly spoke about hoops to jump through and even mentioned a psychological evaluation. Later, when the preliminary mental health staff member came in for a routine screening, Caitlyn said he seemed unaware of any vasectomy discussion at all, adding to the confusion.
The creator concluded the story by saying that if they could try such stunts on a man who is clearly determined, she cannot imagine what can happen to someone who is not sure about a vasectomy. They are certain to be talked out of it. Stories like this stand out because personal health choices should not be made harder by the very people meant to help. For most couples, family planning already takes enough thought and discussion. At the very least, people deserve basic respect and the space to choose what works for their own family, without sexist or biased opinions. The husband's persistence and confidence deserve applause, and every individual must stand their ground and fight such stereotypical mindsets.
You can follow Caitlyn (@themodernmidwife) on TikTok for more content on women's health and pregnancy.