People often say ‘I’m sorry’ to dad when they learn his son has Down Syndrome—but his perspective is a game-changer
Having a child with special needs or disabilities is often looked down upon by society. Unfortunately, to the world, it might be a setback. However, there is a different magic about parenting a child with special needs. And only the parents of a special child can see this magic. A dad named Mark Jamensky revealed that people often attributed the birth of his son, Joel, who had Down syndrome, as something unfortunate, Love What Matters revealed. He decided to prove them wrong by sharing his own thrills of parenting and it’s a wholesome eye-opener.
Mark’s wife, Karen, looked at Joel the moment he was born and knew that he had Down syndrome. “When holding Joel for the first time, it was like holding a floppy baby who collapsed into your arms. He was 6 pounds of joy and a huge responsibility, which was a little frightening at the time, but his energy was very present,” the dad remarked. Despite the unexpected truth, Karen remained an optimist and was delighted to welcome Joel. Having had a brother and others who had Down syndrome, she had some idea of what to expect. Nearly three decades later, the parents couldn’t be more glad to bring him into the world.
The dad shared in a video on Instagram that “Joel was one of the wisest” in their family. Their perspective was on one end of the spectrum and society's on the other. “When Joel was young (and still sometimes to this day), people say, ‘I’m sorry’ upon first hearing about our son’s diagnosis,” the dad recalled. He has always been hurt and frustrated by the statement and never understood why his diagnosis called for sympathy. Joel always had his own aura. The extra exercises and stimulation even influenced the cure to his mom’s dyslexia. Though he needed help from professionals to learn and develop, it helped give him his own unique identity.
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He had his struggles battling societal pressure but he endured by being himself and silently teaching inclusivity. Mark recalled one instance when Joel was in school and he worried that he’d get bullied. To his surprise, when he walked in with him during a meeting, “everyone was high-fiving Joel. He was a superstar in high school!” the dad proudly said. As he grew up, the young man developed the dream to work in a kitchen and own a business. Rightly so, he worked hard in college to earn a Kitchen Steward certificate in an adaptive program. In his early 20s, he worked part-time in a kitchen and managed everything from commuting to his chores all by himself. These little yet significant things only assured his dad that he fit right in.
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When he developed a love for art, his parents were right there supporting him. His mom pitched the idea to create a website and socials. The young man shared what inspired him to create each piece and as one would have it, his paintings sold out. Dennis Ellsworth, a singer, also used his artwork as part of his album. Calling himself “J positive,” Joel has one goal — to be the light as best as he can. “Joel still brings challenges to us but there isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t laugh!” Mark remarked. Powerfully responding to those who think having a special child is a sorrow, the dad said, “We aren’t sorry for our beautiful child and for the amazing lessons we are learning. We wish people would instead say, ‘That’s amazing!’ We believe that we are much better people for having Joel in our lives, and the world is a much better place with him in it.”
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You can follow Joel (@artbyjpositive) on Instagram for more content on art, parenting and lifestyle.