Podcaster uses genius ‘weightlifting’ analogy to help friend grieve and it’s the healthiest male friendship we’ve ever seen
Deep and heartfelt conversations between two men are indeed a rare sight. On a similar note, a recent episode of the Secondhand Therapy podcast (@secondhandtherapypod) featuring comedian Michael Malone and host Louie Paoletti explored a profound and vulnerable conversation about coping with grief. A clip from their discussion introduced a powerful weightlifting analogy to describe grief and healing. The exchange showcased one of the healthiest, most emotionally intelligent examples of male friendship you will see.
In the clip, comedian Malone, in an overwhelmed emotion, asks podcast host Paoletti, "What's the answer you want from me?" However, Paoletti calmly replies that he hasn't asked a question yet. Malone insists that he heard him asking a question that resonated with unresolved grief, "Why aren't you over it yet?" While Paoletti tells him that, although that's what he had heard, that wasn't the question he had asked. Malone then describes the situation with an interesting analogy based on weightlifting.
He imagines himself at the gym, struggling under a bar loaded with 300 pounds on each side. Beside him, he imagines Paoletti, who is easily repping 25 pounds and wondering why Malone is struggling so much. While Malone says that "he's trying," he lets Paoletti know the pain of someone doing their best to move forward while carrying a weight only they can understand. However, Paoletti decides to change the scenario and tells him, "let me tell you what I'm actually saying". He says that though he does not deny the heaviness of Malone's emotional weight, instead, he asks whether Malone has considered trying to move it differently. "What if you tried a different way to lift that?" he suggested. "Maybe with your legs. Maybe if you put it down and pushed it. The idea is to move the weight, not lift it the way you think you’re supposed to," he continued.
A 2023 study published in Frontiers in Psychology examined 889 adults who had lost a loved one. The study found that coping methods, especially problem-focused coping, played a huge role in dictating a person's ability to experience growth post-trauma. The results from the findings support the weightlifting analogy from the podcast that reaffirms that healing not only depends on the weight of the baggage but also the technique and approach used to process.
The deep and insightful exchange between the two resonated with online users who shared their thoughts in the comments. @persephonezcgr wrote, "'This is superior communication, guys "this is what I'm hearing' 'let me tell u what I'm actually saying'" @ladybug11846 commented, "I am soooo not used to seeing 2 men communicate this deeply and honestly. But damn, how refreshing." @outxfromxunder wrote, "I love how deeply you love and respect one another and how well you respond to misfires in communication with honesty and integrity."
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