She thought her Bumble date genuinely cared about her career goals — one casual revelation made her get up and leave
A woman’s fight to become independent and chase her life goals is an ongoing reality. From discrimination, biased mindsets, and inequality in opportunity, women face hindrances in multiple ways. Threads user Shamala Jayabalan, who goes by @sshhamala, shared a post on Friday, July 24, 2026, revealing how she was impressed the second her date showed interest in her career plans. Assuming she’d finally found a gentleman, the woman was proven wrong in the most unexpected manner after one topic during their conversation exposed the truth.
After connecting on Bumble, the duo went out for a coffee. During their conversation, the man showed great enthusiasm and asked what her plans or goals were. Jayabalan was taken aback that someone genuinely wanted to know what she wanted to do in life. The conversation continued, with her date revealing that he was married and had children. The woman was shocked to hear what he said, and yet, it wasn’t the worst part. After casually stating he was looking only for friends on an app like Bumble, he continued the evening without any remorse. As a teacher, she was prompted to ask what his son’s field of interest was. The dad confidently revealed that he wasn’t sure since he hadn’t had that discussion with him yet.
“You don’t have the time to discuss that, but have the time to make new ‘friends,’ meeting a random girl from a dating site discussing her career progress!” she remarked. Jayabalan was offended that the man chose to spend time meeting women rather than guide and support his child, who needed his parental input. That was the last straw, prompting her to excuse herself and end the date. The man texted her the next day, but she shut him down, saying, “I am not interested in talking to another woman’s husband.” The problem wasn’t that he wanted friends and a social life, but rather his approach to finding them.
Talking to people on a dating app without clarifying such details is a major red flag. “Some of us are fed up of dating sites because we are there genuinely looking for someone we can build a life with, and these kinds of guys come and waste our time,” the woman noted. She also urged young people using such platforms to communicate intentions and expectations clearly before taking things further with a match. According to the Pew Research Center, many people use these sites for reasons other than seeking relationships. While 44% said they wanted to find long-term relationships, 24% said they created accounts for casual hookups, and 22% admitted they just wanted to make friends.
Whether this approach is right or wrong is debatable, but choosing to conceal such information is not. Commenters added that this is not a rare phenomenon. @slee1086 said, “I previously matched with men who are married, and I was also sick and tired of it.” @priyamano_1311 remarked, “This is exactly why trust is so hard to build nowadays. Honesty costs nothing.” @callmekvm noted, “Are we even surprised anymore? The dating apps are broken.”
You can follow @sshhamala on Threads for more stories.