Woman learned the man she was seeing had lied about his wife being dead — but exposing him backfired in ways she never expected
Finding out someone you're talking to has been lying about their relationship status can be upsetting enough, but sometimes the fallout is far worse than expected. A woman who goes by u/thousandsofbirds shared her experience on Reddit on October 31, 2026. She revealed that a man she'd been talking to online was actually married and had told her that his wife had passed away. She decided to come clean to his wife, hoping to do the right thing, but what followed turned into years of harassment and threats.
The woman said she'd been talking to the man for a while, chatting, calling, and even discussing meeting up and possibly building a future together. She had no idea he was married because he'd told her his wife had died, but it changed when his wife contacted her. She said, "I decided to tell her everything," and said she apologized and sent screenshots of their conversations as proof. Their first call lasted a couple of hours, and at first, the wife seemed to believe her. But the man later convinced his wife that the woman was making it all up because she wanted a relationship with him and he'd rejected her. Things took an even uglier turn when he called her names, yelled at her over the phone, and kept contacting her through fake accounts and new numbers. His wife joined in, sending hateful messages and even reaching out through her children's Instagram account.
The woman said she eventually tried to get help from a magistrate, but that didn’t go anywhere. She also reached out to a domestic violence advocacy center, where they told her she seemed to have enough evidence to pursue cyberstalking or cyberbullying charges. The problem was that they couldn’t find an address where the couple could be served, so nothing ever moved forward. Over time, the harassment died down, but it never fully stopped. According to her, it would randomly start up again every few years, with the latest incident happening after four years of no contact. Someone posing as a friend sent her an insulting message, and she suspected it was the man’s wife from a fake account because the writing style seemed familiar.
This time, she chose not to engage. Instead, she blocked and reported the account. Still, the whole thing left her wondering if the couple would ever truly leave her alone. Other Reddit users shared their thoughts. u/Ok-Benefit197 wrote, “I have a feeling she messages you when she finds evidence of him cheating again with other people and takes it out on you.” u/BxGyrl416 said, “Male-centered women are almost as dangerous as the men they take up for.” Meanwhile, u/Dependent-Piglet-812 asked, "Did I miss something? Is there no way for you to get a new phone number? Seems like that would end this?"
Confronting a partner about dishonesty can be nerve-racking, but when they refuse to take accountability and turn the blame back on you, it can be even more heartbreaking. In another story, TikTok creator Sofia Elizabeth experienced something similar when she planned an elaborate Las Vegas birthday trip for her boyfriend, only to catch him messaging another woman. He even told the woman he was “rich” and “bored,” without mentioning his girlfriend or the effort she'd put into the trip. Sofia later discovered he'd called her a “gold-digger” despite her covering most of the expenses.
For more stories, you can follow u/thousandsofbirds on Reddit.