'Worn-out' single dad confessed his struggles about living with father battling dementia, got unexpected response from strangers
Being a caregiver can be challenging for a variety of reasons. But sometimes, a trivial-seeming incident can cause a breakdown and make it difficult to cope for a person. A 42-year-old single dad, u/Coblish, had a similar moment with his father, who is struggling with dementia. The man had bought a pie for himself and was hoping to cut it on his birthday with his kids, but he was surprised with what he saw after coming back home. He shared on Reddit how he could not help but cry that day.
"I am recently divorced, living with my dementia-ridden father, trying to clean up his house (slowly, so he can get used to it), working shift work, and my first birthday after the divorce is coming up," the man began. He bought himself a fancy pie to celebrate his birthday and put it on the bottom shelf behind a sign that read, "Please do not eat." The man had been doing 12-hour shifts all week and returned from his last one to find out the box had been moved and his father had eaten about half of his birthday pie. "I was hoping to surprise my kids with it this week and sit down and eat it together," the man admitted.
The man felt upset, exhausted and "worn out" at that moment. "I am going to go lay in my bed as a 42-year-old man and just cry for a bit. I cannot vent about it to my Dad. He will make up some story and/or not know what I am talking about. My ex-wife will not care. My kids may care, but I am not going to burden them with this. I am just hurting." The man had been looking forward to cutting and eating the pie for quite a few days and hoped that things would be better at some point, but he found it hard to get it through that night. "I can do nothing about that. Tomorrow, I will get back on the horse and keep going. But tonight...yeah," the post concluded.
People in the comments reassured the man. u/kattalack wrote, "Wishing you a happy birthday. Never be ashamed to vent here. This is a safe place that has kept a lot of us going." u/ptarmiganridgetrail commented, "It’s the little things that can drive me over the edge if I am not attending to my own needs. Like mail, dishes put everywhere and anywhere, dog dishes set out like traps throughout the house…I’m working on being in better spiritual and physical health as best I can. I rented and am rehabbing a 180 square foot art studio, so I have space that is all mine, a place to write and read and do some art or sit and cry."
u/donutsauce4eva remarked, "I'm so sorry. That really sucks. I am glad you're letting yourself cry. Self-compassion is key. It's the little things that make life sweet and little things that can really hurt when we're feeling tired and alone. You are doing really hard work and I hope you can treat yourself just a little extra this week." The man replied, "Thank you. Crying while so tired is so exhausting. I was also beating myself up about it a bit because I knew this was a possibility and I could have done things differently, but how was I to know yet? But in the end, it is just a pie. And now, a funny story for my kids as to why my birthday pie is already partly eaten."