Barista reveals why he refrains from asking customers how they’re doing and it makes a lot of sense

When we go to a cafe, the greeting by a barista is often followed by the common “How are you?” question. While this is considered to be a part of etiquette and basic interaction in a public setting, one barista from Cat and Cloud cafe (@catandcloud) is bent on steering clear of the question. He revealed that he engages in conversation and serves his customers as required but he definitely leaves out this question for an insightful reason. The barista noted that being in the line of service, it’s not fitting to ask a question that requires customers to “give.”

“If someone comes into the shop and you ask them how they’re doing, you’re taking from them,” the barista noted. He explained that because he is in the “position of service,” it is his duty to "give," whether it’s service, energy or anything else for that matter. The barista put himself in a customer’s position and revealed that he wouldn’t want to think about the question in depth if he was just in the cafe for a cup of coffee or so. He added an example saying that a customer coming in at 7 a.m. doesn’t generally want to talk about how they're doing. Another colleague suggested a server should always “read the room" before speaking to a customer. 

The duo highlighted that it is important to note the person’s energy when they come in and react accordingly. “What I’m trying to say is, always be giving, rarely be taking," the barista shared his mantra. He added that when it comes to hospitality and service, the focus is more on the greeting than on the questions. “You will always be greeted. Welcome, it’s good to see you, happy to have you here,” he said. “It just doesn’t exist in those situations," he added. The barista also pointed out that greeting makes up for a good and wholesome conversation starter and that he often uses phrases like “good to see you” while interacting with customers. 

The caption summarized the insight. “Asking a question like ‘How are you?’ might seem nice or come from a good place but it puts your guest in a position where they’re forced to give you something when they’re the ones coming to receive.” This theory of “always give, rarely take” was appreciated by both customers and servers. Many commented saying that it’s so relieving not to be pressured to answer or ask such questions and stir up an awkward conversation. @nico.the.natural said, “As a long-time barista, I learned that he is correct. Don’t ask a question, stay positive and everything else flows naturally.” 

@sometimesgooutiside0 added, “I feel this on every level, even as an extrovert. When I’m out running errands with my kids, I don’t have another brain cell to be giving to another person.” @fitz_312 remarked, “Introvert here and I endorse this message.” @rachkb1 remarked, “I hate it when someone asks me how I’m doing, much less a stranger.” @jwfloral noted, “I am so annoyed when I go somewhere and people ask me how I’m doing but I do this all the time. It’s such a wake-up call for me.”

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