Behavioral specialist debunks myth that gentle parenting is like permissive parenting with relatable example

With different parenting styles developing and changing the landscape of parenting, it's easy for parents to get confused about which style they’d like to adopt. Gentle parenting is the most commonly picked method as it helps develop bonding and communication with the child. However, using this method can be challenging, especially when kids are fussy and not yet accustomed to respecting and following instructions. Parents often mistake gentle parenting for giving in to kids' demands, but it's much more than that. A behavioral specialist who goes by @_indomitable_blackman on TikTok shared a demonstration of how to practice gentle parenting correctly. 

In his video, he demonstrated himself as a parent who is trying to get his child to listen using the said technique. He nicely asked his child to come in before it could begin raining. The man then pretended that the child responded with something rude or disrespectful. While many parents lose their cool and wonder why asking nicely didn’t work, the specialist demonstrated an impactful alternative. Before asking his child to come in, he calmly addressed the disrespect and said, “I know the way spoke to me is mad out of pocket and disrespectful.”

The man then tried to reason with the kid and pointed out how he treats him with respect and deserves the same back too. “I don’t talk to you like that. You’re going to show me the same respect I give you, right?” he asked. After making the kid understand, he asked the kid to improvise. “Let’s try that again, what’s a better way you can tell me you want to stay outside for a few more minutes?” This time he pretended to receive a better answer and then followed it up with encouragement. “See? You can do this!” he exclaimed. The man asked the kid to redo the entire conversation with a better response and as a reinforcer, allowed him to stay out a little longer. “If you ever talk to me like that again, you’re not coming outside for the rest of the day,” he instructed. 

Elaborating on his demonstration, the specialist pointed out that many parents believe gentle parenting is the same as permissive parenting. Breaking the myth, he stressed that it is not the case. “Gentle parenting does teach respect. It teaches boundaries, it teaches expectations, what we’re supposed to do in an interaction,” he explained. Also known as conscious parenting, he added that this is what parenting is supposed to look like. It is meant to instill the right attitude subtly and calmly.

“The goal is to teach the kids what they’re supposed to know by practicing it with them, identifying the problem and helping them get through it,” the specialist shared. Several people agreed with the man and that the thin line that blurs the true idea of gentle parenting needs to be noticed. @marembri wrote, “I love your perspective. It’s terrifying and hilarious that people think striking fear into their kids will help make them respectful.” @nadeolia added, ‘Well said. It’s not Laissez Faire (Do what you want) parenting. People get confused for real.”

You can follow (@the_indomitable_blackman) on TikTok for more content on parenting.