Child psychologist begs parents and grandparents to put a stop to 6 common habits during kid's formative years
From the time they're aware of the pregnancy, couples make strenuous efforts to plan their parenting. Right from the diet, morals, school and lifestyle choices, parents leave no stone unturned in opting for what's best. Some of these practices may be influenced by parents' beliefs, lifestyles, skills and so on. However, not all may be beneficial and recommended for children. Practices that may seem great initially can have unwanted long-term effects. Child psychologist Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge revealed 6 striking habits you want to keep out of your child's life, per Parade. She urges parents and grandparents to leave out these 6 factors and find alternatives that are more fruitful and efficient.
1. Screentime to keep kids busy
Many parents opt for screen time while their kids are eating, trying to sleep and so on. While this can be a great aid to parents, Hodge advises against the same. As a children's mental health expert, she noted that excess dependence on digital gadgets and items can have effects on children's mental and emotional development. “Children need to engage in a variety of play-based activities that promote growth in different areas, including in visual-motor, physical exercise and socialization," she explained. She added that simply keeping kids busy with screen time makes parents and grandparents miss out on quality time together which is crucial to bond.
2. Ignoring the modeling of morals
Children learn from what they see. At a very young age, kids pick up the habits of those living around them, especially their parents and grandparents. The morals, relationships and so on that kids perceive are what they will subconsciously learn and practice. Hodge insightfully explains that when "conflicts" play out in front of children, how parents respond has a crucial impact. “It is important to demonstrate healthy, respectful relationships, including how to deal with conflicts constructively, which sets a positive example for children," she noted.
3. Negativity
Dealing with children can test your patience but the one thing you want to avoid at all costs is imbibing negative ideas and comments in children's minds. Something as simple as yelling and unconstructive criticism can have a damaging impact on kids. "Regularly raising your voice can create an environment of fear and anxiety, leading to issues with stress management, self-esteem and communication," Hodge remarked.
4. Taking advantage of guilt
Children can feel guilty for mistakes they make while learning how to express and feel things. "Trying to control behavior through guilt can lead to feelings of worthlessness and an unhealthy desire to please others at the expense of one's own needs that can affect a child for a lifetime," Hodge highlighted. Though it may seem easier to use guilt on kids and get them to obey, she strongly advises against using guilt as a reinforcer in kids. "‘Look how much I do for you!’ or ‘Grandma needs you, or I'll be upset’ isn’t going to help a child develop into a self-confident adult who knows how to set boundaries," she shared.
5. Inconsistency in setting discipline
Children are only learning to behave and how parents exercise discipline makes a difference. Hodge recalls a recurring complaint from parents being kids' ignorance towards discipline. The root cause of the same could be irregular boundary setting. "Inconsistent rules can create confusion and insecurity, which can lead to worse behaviors, especially for neurodivergent children. The best learning occurs when children have clear, consistent boundaries that make them feel loved and safe, while also teaching them responsibility and self-control.” Hodge recommends being consistent with rules so children can understand the importance of the same and learn to adapt.
6. Comparison
Comparison among kids is one of the worst tactics parents can use to push their kids. Not only does it not obtain the desired result, but it also destroys the individuality and uniqueness of a child, suggesting that they should compare to be better. “When grandparents openly compare grandchildren, this can diminish a child's sense of self-worth and foster unhealthy competition or resentment. Each child is unique and should be encouraged to grow at their own pace," Hodge mindfully noted.
