Child psychologist suggests parents use these 5 phrases with their 'bossy' kid to help them develop kindness

Raising a child with a dominant or assertive personality can get tricky for a parent or a guardian. However, there is a solution to it. Parent educator and child psychologist Jaimie Bloch dished out five important points that parents need to keep in mind while dealing with a "bossy" child. On her Instagram page (@mindmoverspsych), Bloch made a brief video to highlight the five points. She also had a chat with Newsweek to explain why the top five phrases can help parents bring positive changes in the "bossy" child's behavior. 

1. "I love your honesty, but let's find a way to make your words kinder"

"It's developmentally normal and age-appropriate for them to use their voices and for children, in general, to want to control everything," Bloch told the news outlet. The first point she mentioned in her video opened the door to a constructive conversation between a parent and their youngsters where they can voice their feelings.

2. "I hear you giving lots of directions. Ask (child's name/ sibling's name) what she thinks about the game"

This one encourages a child to evaluate whether they are being fair with others or not. It can also help them to understand the impact of their decisions on others and ensure everyone around them is having a good time. 

3. "I see that you only want to play with the ideas in your head. It is important to include your friends'/siblings' ideas also"

This phrase pushes a child to value the opinions of others around them and respond to them with kindness. It also allows them to give a chance to the art of seeing the world from someone else's perspective.

4. "It's OK to choose what you draw, and I'll choose what I want to draw"

 "Toddlers and kids have limited perspective-taking skills," Bloch explained the point to the outlet. "Their prefrontal cortex is responsible for these higher-order thinking skills and it is in the construction phase. This means young kids are often very self-centered and self-focused and struggle to see how their behavior affects others in the moment."

5. "I can see you really want (friend/sibling name) to do (activity). But you only need to be in charge of yourself"

"We want to encourage our kids to be assertive but with kindness and awareness," the expert further stated, implying that this phrase can help your 'bossy' child lead their life in a positive direction. "The brain starts to develop awareness and concepts of self. Therefore, they are beginning to understand their preferences and desires but are lacking the ability to fully regulate their emotions and understand social skills." Bloch, who is a mother to two kids, added that she had used these phrases to help her young daughter navigate through her life.

Bloch's comment section was filled with parents who have been struggling to deal with their assertive kids as well. @mskatemiller78 asked, "I love this. But my daughter would then shout louder, squeal or have a tantrum after these statements. So do I just repeat the statements? I don't know where to take it because she can be so volatile." @christinaknowsindy joked, "Coaching my kid into becoming a lawyer. She’s only 6 but the way she likes to always be right, she will be so good at it." @dunneatron questioned, "I was told I was bossy as a little girl. It shut down what could have been a great capacity for leadership. Do we call little boys bossy?"

You can follow Jaimie Bloch (@mindmoverspsych) on Instagram for more videos on parenting and child psychology.