Foot doctor watched mom struggle with her autistic daughter’s shoes — his comparison to his own life left her warning special-needs parents
A doctor's visit can be stressful for any parent, but even more so when you're made to feel judged instead of supported. For Instagram user Nasha Fitter, a visit to the doctor turned uncomfortable. She had taken her daughter, Amara, to see a podiatrist for a routine checkup, but the visit quickly became frustrating. The creator, who goes by @nashafitter, shared her experience on August 18, 2026, about a comment the doctor made that left her questioning how some doctors treat families of children with special needs.
Fitter said the doctor arrived about 45 minutes late, leaving her to manage Amara, who is autistic and has other conditions, in a small room while they waited. When he finally came in, he watched Amara pull her mother's hair and make sounds before asking Fitter, "Is she autistic?" He then offered no help and instead watched as Fitter struggled to take her daughter's shoes off and put them back on. But what really stuck with her was something he said next. He noticed her difficulty before saying, "Wow, you know, I watched my wife with our kids, and she had it really hard. But you, you have it really hard."
Fitter said the comment bothered her because it felt less like empathy and more like a judgment about how difficult her daughter was. She also took issue with the doctor's admission that he had simply watched his wife handle parenting, rather than sharing the responsibility himself. For Fitter, the visit was more than just an unhelpful appointment. She felt the doctor's words showed how little he understood what caring for a child with special needs can actually look like. Instead of making her feel supported, his one comment left her feeling judged at a moment when she needed understanding the most.
Fitter's experience also made her rethink the kind of doctors parents choose for their children. She urged other parents of kids with special needs to consider seeing specialists who have experience working with them, rather than assuming every doctor will know how to respond to their needs. Viewers also sided with her in the comments. @jojonrich wrote, "Also, they need to actually teach bedside manner in med school!" @knecht_thedots recalled, "Been there! We had the same experience with an ENT." But @bellamom1122 pointed out the harsh truth, writing, "Unfortunately, doing this will cause you to wait years to see specialists."
Fitter's experience may have been personal, but she isn't alone in feeling that some healthcare providers don't always understand what families of autistic children need. A 2026 study that interviewed parents about their experiences in emergency departments found that many faced stigma, inadequate support, and communication barriers, with some feeling that their knowledge of their own children wasn't taken seriously. Researchers said the findings point to a need for more autism-specific and family-centered care.
To see more content about her experiences, you can follow @nashafitter on Instagram.