Grandmom wants opinionated grandparents to think about 3 questions before giving advice to new parents

Grandparents, having been parents and having done what was needed when it came to parenting, might think of advising new parents. However, this advice might not be welcome or helpful at all times. So, a grandmom wants grandparents to ask themselves three questions before giving out any parenting advice to their kids. This would ensure that they share a cordial relationship with their adult children while also being a part of their grandchildren's lives. The woman, DeeDee Moore, who goes by @morethangrand on TikTok, shared the three questions with the platform.

"Before offering parenting advice to your adult children, pause and ask yourself these three important questions," Moore began. "First, 'Was I asked for this input?' If parents haven’t specifically asked for your opinion, they may not be open to receiving it, no matter how valuable you think it is," the grandmom explained. The second thing was to ask oneself if the advice was about safety or preference. A grandparent might have to speak up about safety concerns regardless of whether the advice is asked for or not, but when it comes to preferences — things like how the kid is dressed and which foods are introduced first should be left to the parents, according to the grandmom.

The third question should be about a grandparent's motivation behind the advice. "Third, 'What’s my real motivation?' Be honest with yourself. Are you trying to be helpful, or are you trying to show your expertise, or even assert control?" These three questions might help a grandparent understand if their advice was truly helpful, according to Moore. "Knowing when and how to give advice can transform your relationship with your adult children and help you become the supportive grandparent they need." The caption read, "Advice from grandparents can be helpful — but only if it’s useful and wanted...Often, the best way to help parents is to let them figure it out on their own." Self-reflection is an important tool for grandparents to be supportive, Moore told TODAY.com.

"A lot of advice — including intrusive statements — is really just an attempt to connect or because grandparents want to be a part of the equation," Moore explained. "When we raised our children, we had very few sources of information aside from our pediatricians, a few books, and our moms — that’s who we went to for advice and support." But with the modern parents, it becomes important for the grandparents to understand if their input is solicited or not. She emphasized that it was difficult for grandparents to understand the amount of information parents receive from all sources today. The woman pointed out, "The relationship between parents and grandparents should foster the one with grandchildren."

Many people shared their thoughts on the advice in the comments section of the video and could resonate with what the grandma said. @kaznweber wrote, "Too bad my parents haven’t got TikTok to see this, lol." @lynneh88 commented, "Very hard for me yesterday when 'other' grandma sent my 3-year-old a bag of popcorn for a snack. I said nothing, but I watched that kiddo like a hawk." Another user reiterated the point and said, "Unsolicited advice isn’t natural. Parents don’t want to hear outdated and unwanted advice." @elina shared, "Every boomer should be forced to watch these."

You can follow DeeDee Moore (@morethangrand) on TikTok for more parenting advice.