Hinge date asked woman to choose a coffee place for meet-up — when she refused to do it, his next move left her baffled
Dating today has a funny way of turning the simplest plans into personality tests. You’d think agreeing to meet for coffee would be the easy part, right? Especially when no grand gestures are required just to grab a coffee. And yet, somehow, even that can unravel before it begins. That’s exactly what happened to Instagram user Morgan Raum (@tooomuchfoood) when she planned to meet up with her Hinge date for a simple coffee. In a video posted on Monday, April 13, 2026, Morgan shared that her date didn't drink, so she asked him to pick a café. However, the reply that came made everyone on the internet collectively gasp!
Things took a turn when he casually passed the decision right back to Raum, asking her to pick the café instead. On the surface, it didn’t sound like a big ask. But she pushed it back, politely. Despite being a food blogger, something he had no idea about, Raum wasn’t about to plan the entire date for someone who hadn’t even met her yet. Suddenly, the tone shifted completely. Instead of suggesting a place or even continuing the conversation, he canceled the date altogether. “After further reviewing the assignment, I’ve concluded I’m not the man for the job. I wish you all the best in your New York dating journey,” his message read.
It was one of those moments that would leave everyone equal parts confused and amused. The message didn’t just feel unnecessary; it came off oddly condescending. And the sign-off? That part really stood out. Wishing her luck didn’t quite land when he couldn’t manage something as basic as picking a café. If anything, she joked, he might need it more. What made it even more baffling was his background. According to Raum, the man was a PhD student, which only added to the irony. Research is quite literally his day-to-day work, yet spending a few minutes finding a coffee spot somehow felt like too much of an assignment.
The comment section, on the other hand, was a bit divided. Many agreed that the bar for dating has fallen. @tiffany.i.p.g noted, "If he doesn’t pick somewhere the first time, he will never make a decision here on out," and @devantlouche remarked, "Just when I thought men liked leading." However, others argued that it was unfair to criticize him for not wanting to pick a spot when she also didn't want to.
For example, @midlifecredo expressed, "So explain this equality to me. You’re berating him because it’s too much for him to pick a coffee shop, but you also don’t want to pick a coffee shop?" It’s the smallest things that say the most, especially early on. If picking a coffee spot feels like too much effort, it’s hard to imagine anything beyond that going smoothly.