'I'm only human': Exhausted mom's open letter to husband begging him for more help is a real eye-opener
Moms often have the strain of healing from their pregnancy and postpartum journey, all while looking after the baby’s needs. At such times, support from the husband and family members is encouraged and expected. It truly takes a village to raise a child and author and mom Celeste Yvonne, back in 2018, was well aware of the struggles. When she wasn't getting enough support from her husband and was battling the challenges of motherhood, she penned an open letter to her husband to voice her feelings. The mom found the letter so powerful that she published it and it was shared by another author, Mary Katherine Backstrom, on her Facebook page. Her words are a silent echo for every struggling parent.
Yvonne addressed the letter to her husband and opened with a single statement, “I. Need. More. Help.” The mom recalled an instance where she had asked her husband to watch their baby for the night and it didn’t work out. “The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter,” the mom wrote.
A few minutes later, after a relentless wailing, the husband “gently pushed the bassinet just a few inches closer to my side of the bed,” indicating he was done with the baby’s tantrums for the night. “I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight at that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night,” she noted.
Yvonne then pointed out that she understands that this stereotypical parenting technique where “mothers and women are primary caretakers” was passed down since they were kids. She added that their dads were excellent "but they weren't expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids." She worried that her family, too, was falling into the same predicted and outdated family dynamics. Having to get back to work, take care of the house and kids and more felt exhausting. “No offense, but I'm not sure I want to know what a week's worth of dinner would look like with you in charge,” the mom shared.
Yvonne pleaded with her husband to be more involved with her and the baby. She confessed that no matter how women had been getting burnt out with so many roles, she couldn’t manage. “I'm just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking about it, I'm going to say it: I need more help,” Yvonne remarked. The mom acknowledged all the help she had received from her husband but felt like she needed more. “I need you,” she wrote. Starting from getting the toddler ready for school - waking him up to getting him dressed, the mom shared instances where she could use more thoughtful help.
She also needed help in watching the baby for a few hours at night so she could catch up on sleep, a few hours away on weekends so she could refocus and recharge and grateful reminders of how strong and determined she is. “I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn't need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I'm waving a white flag and admitting I'm only human,” the mom concluded. Every word from Yvonne resonated with a majority of mums who go above and beyond to do things all by themselves. In a post, the mom revealed that she hadn’t planned to post the private letter but when she saw the wonderful transformation it had on her husband and their life thereafter, she knew the message had to be shared with fellow parents too.