Mom points out eye-opening reasons why leisure gaps are not so much ‘leisure’ for women vs men

It is often said that moms are never off-duty. There are no vacation days, even when there are vacation days. And a mom, Paige Turner (@sheispaigeturner), revealed that this really is the case. The woman shared a realization a fellow mom made to her about how moms go through leisure time compared to dads. When you sit and look at the two, they’re actually quite different. The mama shared an example that related to many moms and we can’t help but understand how mums are really superwomen. 

Turner recalled a fellow mom's words. She mentioned how when she would take the kids out and the dad was free at home, his idea of leisure time was entirely different. “He’d spend the day watching TV,” she said. However, things are different when the mom is at home with the supposed “leisure time.” “She’d spend that time cleaning, cooking, organizing, folding laundry or whatever it is,” Turner noted. She added that moms often have a whole “checklist” to attend to, especially in their exhaustingly free time. “She has a checklist of things to get done and she’s trying to get them done when she doesn’t have kids because, as parents, we know that everything is easier to do when you don’t have the kids with you,” she explained. 

Turner further highlighted how it's frustrating for moms to figure out how to balance their time and attention between chores and their kids. “But when he gets time to himself, he uses it solely for himself,” she remarked. “He feels entitled to relax and wind down and watch TV,” Turner pointed out. It seems almost like an impossibility for women to have this thought. After noting that this is a common dilemma many moms subconsciously face, the mom also pulled out facts to support the same. A study revealed that there is something called a "leisure gap” between men and women. 

“There is a leisure gap between mothers and fathers. Fathers tend to have three hours more per week for leisure and they often spend that time watching TV. It's probably golf or baseball, who knows what, but they are watching TV. And women typically spend that time doing things for the family,” she explained. As a mom herself, this data felt personally true. Women are mostly doing a “disproportionate” amount of work with chores, kids and so on. “We’re carrying the mental load required to manage a home. But because women are doing that work, because they are spending their time doing that work, they have freed up time for their partners to rest and relax,” the mom added. 

Suggesting a plausible solution, Turner offered the idea of a change in mindset. If women “feel entitled to relaxation over the work they have been conditioned to always be doing,” things could look different. “But what we need for women to be able to rest and relax is for more men to participate in the work required to manage a home and to have a family and to carry that mental load,” she concluded. @st1479 said, “Even when I’m scrolling my phone, I’m looking for things to buy for the kids.” @adeleaurora aced getting out of this problem, “I used to be like this, constantly doing something. Now when the kids are out of the house, I don’t do sh*t. I sit and relax.”

You can follow Paige Turner (@sheispaigeturner) on TikTok for more content on parenting.