Mom reveals the perfect response for 'I-know-it-all' grandparents that won't even offend them and might just work
Each parenting experience differs from couple to couple and generation to generation. Every other factor revolving around raising them is also unique. However, some grandparents have the nagging behavior of trying to pass down their parenting techniques and expect their kids to follow the same to the T. With the notion that they have experienced parenthood before, they believe they know what’s best and their way should be heeded. A mom named Paige Connell (@paigeturner) revealed that her friend, who is also a mom, experienced a similar tiff with her parents. The woman came up with an impressive response to tackle “know-it-all” grandparents while getting the message through, without sounding offensive.
Connell revealed that the fellow mom had instances where her mother insisted she knew what was best for her grandchildren simply because she has been a parent for so many years. “Her mom said, ‘Hey, I was a parent. I have three kids. I know what I'm doing. You act like I've never been a parent before and like everything I know doesn't matter,’” the woman shared. Connell added that a lot has changed since the time and grandparents have likely been retired from being active parents for a decade or so. Sharing an example to explain a point, she said, “If I left the workforce 15 years ago, a lot would have changed. The overall job idea would be the same…or maybe not.”
She noted that “every single thing required to do the job would have changed and the same thing happens with parenting.” Connell added that since the last decade or two, a lot has changed and more information is available which impacts how moms and dads raise their kids. “Even if you did the job for 20 years and you were an amazing mom were so good, a lot changes in 15 to 20 years. I think that is what Boomer grandparents are missing,” she added. She explained in her caption that the “divide” between boomer grandparents and now parents comes from “grandparents feeling invalidated.”
The mom pointed out that the latter is not the intent and what’s more important is the idea of setting boundaries. Connell then suggested explaining the same to grandparents by first acknowledging that it’s not that they’re bad parents or that they don’t know anything but that we are active parents today. She shared a dialogue, “We're asking you to respect our boundaries and to listen to us. We are the people who are getting the safety recalls on products. We are the people talking to the pediatricians. We are the people actively parenting and so we know what is best for our children.”
This calmly and reassuringly lets grandparents know that they can be supporters and share their wisdom but parents only have to be the captain of this ship. Many parents were grateful for the mom’s advice and approach to the issue. @alexandra_s_phipps said, “I tell my daughter she is a better mother than I was.” @lizrosenblum wrote, “The greatest compliment my mom ever gave me is, ‘If I could parent all over again, I’d want to do it just like you.’ So much has changed and she acknowledges it! Just because we’re doing it differently, isn’t a personal attack.”
You can follow Paige Connell (@sheispaigeturner) on Instagram for more content on parenting.