Mom shares eye-opening reason why she is not raising a 'nice daughter but a kind one'

Parents often know what values and principles they want to include in the upbringing of their kids. Looking for their kids’ best interests, parents decide boundaries and morals accordingly. A mom named Kelsey–who goes by @remismama222 on TikTok–revealed that after taking into consideration similar factors, she is determined to raise a “kind” daughter and not a “nice” one. Though seemingly unusual, she pointed out an insightful reason why she made the thoughtful decision and received appreciation from many parents. The mom noted that “kind and nice are two different worlds,” and thought the former was important. She explained her perspective by sharing an instance her daughter experienced at the park.

Kelsey noted that her daughter was talking to a boy, and he was being rude to her. After a while, he pushed her. “I sat back because I taught my daughter to be kind, not to be nice,” the mom confidently said. She stood up for herself and let the boy know that what he did was “not very nice” and asked him to “say sorry.” Unfortunately, he refused and pushed her again. After he did this, her daughter got back up and pushed him back. At this point, the mothers arrived on the scene, and before the boy’s mom could snap at the girl, Kelsey explained the situation to her.

She noted that she was proud that her daughter did not just sit and take the bullying rendered by the boy, even if done subconsciously. “My job is not to raise a nice daughter but a kind one,” she emphasized. Furthermore, she said, “People who are kind don’t let others walk over them or treat them like garbage.” Despite being kind and requesting the boy to stop and apologize, the girl was still mistreated and refused to play nice and dealt courageously with the situation. The mom noted that kindness is necessary, but being able to protect oneself is of equal importance.

Several people applauded the mom’s insight. @katemcough strikingly noted, “As someone who wishes she was less nice, because she was raised to be a people pleaser, I approve.” @rxlynne added, “Yes. boundaries.” @create4joy remarked, “What’s the difference between a good mom and a great mom? You, ma’am, you are the difference! Keep being a great momma!” In a follow-up video, the mom had additional guidance to share about how parents can practice a similar upbringing. “Being nice is looking at everyone else’s emotions before you choose how to react. Being kind is centering your emotions because they also matter,” Kelsey clarified. 

She shared a few things she does to practice this principle at home. Firstly, she respects her child’s boundaries. Secondly, the mom suggested taking a “pause before reacting.” She added another tip—building a child’s inner confidence through words of affirmation, positivity and more. Lastly, she said, “Kindness comes from empowerment, not people-pleasing. And we want her to know she’s allowed to take up space, say no and still lead with love.” @kay_dd said, “As an early childhood instructional coach, I approve of this!”

You can follow Kelsey (@remismama222) on TikTok for more content on parenting.