Mom thought it was just a phase when her daughter wouldn’t speak at daycare — until she discovered the surprising reason why
Children often show different sides of themselves depending on where they are and who they are around. One mother and TikTok user, Chelsea Jenkins (@findinghervoicesm), noticed this clearly when her daughter, Ava, happily talked, laughed, and played at home, but stayed completely silent outside. At first, she believed her child was simply shy and would eventually grow out of it. However, as the behavior continued with time, the situation began to worry her more deeply. As reported by PEOPLE on Sunday, May 17, 2026, Jenkins started sharing her daughter's story after realizing many parents may miss similar signs during early childhood.
@findinghervoicesm Ava was talking and being her silly little self waiting for her swim lesson to start. And then you can see it happen. As the teacher gets closer, she gets that deer-in-headlights look. She knows there’s going to be a speech demand, and it’s like the switch flips. This is one of the hardest things about selective mutism to explain. Ava can be talking one minute, laughing, playing, acting completely like themselves… and then the second the expectation to speak hits, she changes. It can look like a light switch. Off… and then suddenly on. The anxiety kicks in fast. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to talk. It doesn’t mean she’s being difficult. It means her nervous system knows what’s coming, and it reacts before she can just “push through it.” That’s what I want people to understand about selective mutism. Sometimes the silence starts before the child ever gets to the hard moment. Sometimes it starts the second they know it’s coming. And you can see that shift all over her face. #selectivemutism #SelectiveMutismAwareness #childanxiety #anxietyinchildren #bravetalking ♬ original sound - Finding Her Voice
At home, Ava behaved like any energetic toddler. She sang songs, played with her brothers, and constantly filled the house with noise and conversation. But outside, everything changed. Teachers often told Jenkins that her daughter followed instructions, played normally, and stayed calm, but “never said a single word.” Even when she attended the same church nursery every week for years, the silence remained. The mom admitted she kept thinking it was only “a phase” and blamed it on shyness or frequent ear infections instead. The surprising reason behind the behavior that later came to light was selective mutism, a complex anxiety disorder that can make children physically unable to speak in certain situations.
A study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry found that selective mutism affects around 0.71% of children in school-based settings. Researchers also noted that children with the condition showed higher levels of social anxiety and other internalizing symptoms compared to other children. Certain moments slowly convinced Jenkins that her daughter’s silence was linked to fear rather than personality. During doctor visits, then-2-year-old Ava never cried while getting injections and stayed completely still. Later, after a painful nose swab, she silently held back tears until the medical staff left the room, then suddenly broke down in tears. Jenkins realized her daughter was “feeling everything” but could not express it around others.
The difference between Ava’s behavior at home and school became impossible to ignore once preschool started in August 2025. She loved attending classes and enjoyed being around children, yet she could not ask for water, request toys, or even tell teachers when she needed to use the bathroom. The turning point came after another child bit the little girl at school. Although the injury left clear teeth marks, Ava neither cried nor asked for help.
In January 2026, Ava was formally diagnosed with selective mutism. "We finally had an answer and a direction,” the mom remarked. Jenkins later researched treatment methods and connected with experts who guided her through therapy techniques focused on slowly building her child's “brave voice.” Her preschool teacher also volunteered time outside school to help the little girl feel safe speaking around her. After weeks of patient practice, the teacher finally heard Ava whisper in class for the first time. Ever since, the mom has been sharing her daughter's story to spread awareness. Jenkins now hopes more people understand that selective mutism is an anxiety disorder, not bad behavior.
You can follow Chelsea Jenkins (@findinghervoicesm) on TikTok for more updates and content on parenting.
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