Mom's emotional video explains why giving up a child for adoption isn't always about not wanting them

Many people have the idea set in mind that parents often put kids up for adoption due to their poor choices or because they don’t love them. However, there are certain biological parents whose hearts break to give away their kids for adoption. Nevertheless, they do it as a selfless form of love. Similarly, a mom, Maddy–who goes by @__._mads_.__ on TikTok–revealed that she had placed two of her biological children up for adoption. She emotionally explained that some birth parents can be unwilling and still choose to put their kids up for adoption. The pain of her experience spoke for many biological parents and offered a heartbreaking perspective.

The mom revealed that she gave up her son and daughter for adoption in 2022 and 2024, respectively. She added that she had a 4-year-old at home with her. “For his birthday, we all got together. I got to see all three of my kids together,” Maddy poignantly noted. The mom had been consistently visiting her biological kids even though she had let go of them. She said that though she had never spoken about this perspective, she wished to put it out there. “This may sound a bit harsh, but I’m sure this is the reality of a lot of birth parents,” she noted.

“Every single visit I've had with my kids since I've placed them, I feel like I've had an emotional wall put up, to the point I kind of just didn't even want to play with them,” she confessed. The mom would feel scared and have other feelings playing in her mind. She mentioned that it was easier to watch her kids play instead of engaging. “I don't know if I've had that wall there to kind of protect myself from the separation that has to happen each visit or if it goes deeper than that,” she added. “I know that probably sounds bad and selfish, but at the same time, I did that. And I really wanted both of them,” she said.

Maddy explained that though there are cases where parents might not want the kids, many like herself, despite loving them, have to choose separation from their birth kids. Going back to her visits with her biological children, each time reminded her of her conscious choice to give them away, and it hurt. However, one day, she tried to change that. "I’m proud to say that for the first time ever, that visit, I did not feel that way," she revealed. “I felt a deep connection,” the mom remarked. She recalled sitting with the adoptive mom and her 10-month-old daughter in the playground. “And I truly fell in love,” she said.

Maddy recalled being “captivated” by her daughter and that she was no longer “scared to interact.” “The same with my son, he's gonna turn 3, so I feel like he's finally getting to the point where he might actually start remembering me,” she gladly noted. Maddy thoughtfully said that she felt “emotionally low” after the visit and that it was the very feeling she was avoiding. “But I truly think that is progress,” she said. Instead of “protecting” herself from “negative moments” and from all the pain, Maddy chose to embrace it for all it was, in all its reality and the bittersweet result was priceless. In conclusion, she comfortingly said, “At the end of the day, they’re always going to be my flesh and blood and they’re always going to have a very special place in my heart.”

You can follow Maddy (@__._mads_.__) on TikTok for more content on parenting and family.