Motivation expert shares 2-word theory to save emotional energy around people and it's remarkable

You may have often found yourself in a position where someone said or did something that hurt you and couldn’t let it go. Encounters like these tend to bother us and stifle our minds, and try as we may, it’s hard to ignore them. Many people casually use the term “don’t take it personally.” However, that’s easier said than done. Author, podcaster and motivational speaker Mel Robbins advocates the phrase and shares a simple method to practice it. In her video, she explained a new theory she came across titled “Let Them”, which is a go-to method to avoid taking things personally. Robbins insightfully shared how the theory can help in almost any situation where you’re likely to take offense. 

Jumping straight to an example, the podcaster said, “If your friends are not inviting you to lunch, let them.” Robbins went on to share other examples from different encounters of life that related to many. She added the “let them” theory to each of these and revealed how it powerfully makes a difference. “If the person you’re attracted to is not up for commitment, let them. If your kids don’t want to wake up and go with you to that thing this week, let them,” Robbins remarked. Sharing the crux of the theory, Robbins said, “So many of us spend so much time and energy trying to force people to match our expectations.” She added that if a person, especially one who matters and is a loved one, chooses not to meet those expectations, we should “let them.” 

The podcaster further suggested focusing on our response instead of their actions for a better result. “Let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them. And then you get to choose what you do next,” Robbins explained. The theory consists of 2 words and requires us to do exactly what it means- “Let them.” People found it extremely helpful to have this idea instilled into their minds and to develop a mindset that’s less expecting and more improvising. Several people, however, pointed out that this theory is harder when it comes to people who are close to us or people whom we care about. Nevertheless, it is a skill to be mastered over time. 

@drmayramotivates wrote, “When you care and love the person, it’s hard to ‘let them,’ especially if you know better.” @trainalaura remarked, “With adults, yes. With kids, not a chance. They need to be pushed.” @lzulli shared, “I feel with any scenario you will have gray areas. So in most scenarios, you can ‘let them’ but with some, you need to persuade or speak your truth.” @soccernut77 remarked, “I love this!! Perfect! I’ve been doing it for a little while now in a few areas of my life and it has been so freeing! Not near the anxiety I had before.” @usacapitalist2020 mentioned, “I call it ‘Let Go,’ stop trying to control your expectations and disappointments.” @manumoda added, “I’ve always loved this, really worth the practice.”

You can follow Mel Robbins (@melrobbins) on Instagram for more content on advice and lifestyle.