Psychologist points out 5 questions to ask when you start having negative thoughts and it’s a game-changer
The way our mind works says a lot about our self-esteem, values and more. Everything we believe and how we act is deeply rooted in our cognition. Even negativity can have as much effect on us as much as our minds allow us to. Clinical psychologist Valerie Hoover shared that changing our negative thoughts can have a significant effect on how we feel and act thereon, per Psychology Today. She pointed out 5 simple questions one can ask oneself when negative thoughts begin to sink in. These are meant to change the flow of thinking and disrupt the unwanted and bleak rollercoaster our minds subconsciously stir into.
The psychologist noted that due to various events in life, it is very easy to go into the trajectory of negative thinking. The latter causes us to think something is going wrong, something could go wrong or something went wrong. This perception affects neutrality and brings in unwanted emotions and processing. To beat this habit, she recommends conversing with oneself to reveal the root cause of the negative thought. Once that is identified, it is much easier to decipher if the negative thought is branching from a predetermined source and avoid it altogether.
1. Feelings vs facts
Often, people tend to believe what they feel. They forget that the negative thoughts are just a thought and not true. Sharing an example, Hoover explained, “I have to be perfect to be loved”—it blurs factuality and puts a preconceived notion in its place. It’s easy to think the latter is the truth but one must ask, “Is this a feeling or a fact?”
2. Possibilities over likeliness
Coming again with a difference of realism, there are many possibilities but not all that are likely to happen. Hoover explained that people can think of many things that could go wrong. For instance, ruining a presentation, losing a job and messing up one’s career are a wide range of possibilities. However, the likelihood that all these things will happen in the intensity we believe is hardly real. Often, we think of possibilities negatively and ignore the likelihood of the same. The important part is to ask, “Is this possibility likely to take place?”
3. Devious trenches of mind-reading
To make an impression, we tend to figure out what the other person may be thinking. While thinking about it may be fine, we don’t realize when our thinking turns into an assumption. You may think that people at a party are judging you for your attire but it is important to stop and ask yourself, “Am I mind-reading?”
4. Overgeneralizing
It often takes one person to hurt us for us to believe that no one in general should be trusted. We make broad conclusions from a single negative encounter that pushes us to think in a biased direction. When you find yourself diving into negativities of a situation, ask yourself, “Am I overgeneralizing?”
5. “What am I doing right?”
We are quick to ask, “What went wrong?” or “What did I do wrong?” but how about turning the question around instead? Hoover recommends asking, “What am I doing right?” when we feel like we’re sinking into negative introspection. It’s a matter of perception and realization—don’t let negativity blind you.
