Single dad of 4 girls explains why he hates getting praised for 'babysitting' his kids and hits the nail on the head
Parents have to deal with multiple biases and inequalities regarding gender on a day-to-day basis. Dads are often sidelined when it comes to caring for their children. Society expects moms to be the first providers in the lives of kids while fathers become extra people in the system. A man, u/IcyStage0 on Reddit, shared a plea on behalf of every dad to give fathers the responsibility and title they deserve. His experience of being treated like a “babysitter” for his kids pushed him to cite the need to look at fathers as equally partnered figures in parenting. The single dad mentioned that as a single dad to four daughters, he took care of them completely. The dad recounted several occasions where his presence as a parent was ignored and questioned.
“I've had to change my babies on countless men's restroom floors because there was no changing table. I've gotten so many dirty looks for taking my kids into the men's room, but I can't go into the women's room and I can't leave them alone so what am I supposed to do?” the dad recalled. He also mentioned how strangers would assume his kids were alone and ask “where mom is” when he was standing right next to them. “When I travel with my kids, we often get questioned like I'm kidnapping them. Well-meaning old people ask if it's ‘mom's day off’ all the time, which isn't great for my kids to constantly be answering because their mom is dead,” the dad sadly shared.
The dad went on to explain that the absence of their mum is hard on him and his daughters. And one of the things that makes it worse is society not allowing him to step in. “My kids have had to skip so many ‘mommy daughter’ things because I offer to take them but they're embarrassed to be the only one with their dad there,” the dad wrote. Being treated as a suspicious member, far from a parental figure, the dad pleaded society let him do his job. The man poignantly stated that moms are undoubtedly doing a lot more.
“I know the world is tough on moms and I hate that – moms deserve all the credit and convenience they get and more,” he shared. However, he added that he is also just doing his job with every dad duty. It is not something to be exaggerated nor something to be questioned. “It's frustrating that I get praised for ‘babysitting’ (dads aren't babysitters!) yet I run into so many obstacles trying to do the smallest things,” the dad revealed. Towards the end of his post, the dad requested society to rethink their beliefs and ideas and make a change in letting dads be comfortable being dads.
Highlighting the need for more comfortable spaces for single dads to look after their kids in public places, the dad wrote, “Why can't we put changing tables in men's rooms? Normalize men being with their kids without mom present? Make parent/child things, ‘parent’/child things because there are so many different types of families." He added, "And why can't dads as a whole step up to the plate as full-fledged parents so these things don't happen? We're fine, we'll live, but it just sucks to constantly be reminded that kids ‘need’ a mom and I'm not one.” u/kennedar1984 wrote, “I have so much respect for single parents, particularly those raising opposite gender children.” u/plentynaive added, “Gender roles are bad and they need to go.”