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Skip the boring 'How was your day?' and ask your kids these 5 after-school questions instead

The mundane question will evoke a bland answer but these 5 five specific questions are the pathway to a quality conversation with your child.
UPDATED NOV 21, 2024
Mom meeting kids after first day at school (Representative Cover Image Source: Pexels | Ivan Samkov)
Mom meeting kids after first day at school (Representative Cover Image Source: Pexels | Ivan Samkov)

The most common question kids hear when they’re back from school is, “How was school?” or “How was your day?” Parents ask these questions to start a conversation and understand what’s happening in their child’s life. However, this question is not just outdated but also too broad to have a quality conversation with your child. A mom named Yamel, who goes by @themotherhoodkit on TikTok, suggested 5 insightful questions that can provide more quality communication with your kids instead of asking monotonous things and receiving a bland reply.  

Representative Image Source: Pexels| Saulo Leite
A dad helping his kid with homework. (Representative Image Source: Pexels | Saulo Leite)

In her caption, Yamel mentioned that she, too, used to ask her kids mundane questions and receive generic answers. “I was tired of hearing ‘It was good,’ to my after-school questions. I wanted to know more,” the mom said. She added that she tried a few questions to achieve better responses. The five questions shared by the mom were generic but likely to elicit specific answers. They were meant for the child to lay out a summary of their day. “Question number 1: What made you smile today?” the mom shared. Whether the reply is one word, a phrase, or even a paragraph, it will undoubtedly tell you a lot more about your child’s day. 

Representative Image Source: Pexels| Gustavo Fring
A little girl discussing homework with her mom after school. (Representative Image Source: Pexels| Gustavo Fring)

Question number 2: Who did you sit next to during lunch?” The mom added. This question would likely give an idea about their friend group or any other happenings that may have taken place. “Question number 3: Did you see any acts of kindness today and if so, what were they?” the mom mentioned. This question would elicit a longer and more detailed response and will also give a rough picture of what the experience looked like for the kid. The next question was the opposite of the third question: “Question number 4: Did you see any acts that were unkind and if so, what did that look like?” Not only are these questions designed to provide greater understanding, but they also help the child observe and perceive things more clearly. 

The last question was, “What part of the day made you super happy?” Yamel pointed out that it could be anything from recess to the teacher walking into the classroom. “These are conversation starters which are meant to have open-ended responses so it can lead to having better communication with your kids,” the mom concluded. Several moms tried the five questions instead of their mundane “How was your day?” and were glad to receive amazing responses. Many even pointed out that though they may not have gotten responses, they were able to have some light-hearted communication with their kids. 

Image Source: TikTok|@viv7260
Image Source: TikTok | @viv7260

Image Source: TikTok|@nancyt3030
Image Source: TikTok | @nancyt3030

@legina34 remarked, “My kids are a mess. Now they’re calling me curious George!” @tashea_ wrote, “I asked my 5th grader this and she looked at me like I’m crazy and said, ‘Mom are you okay?’ She'll get used to it!” @klee574 added, “This reminds me of the conversations I had with my boys. They’re 30 and 20 now but we still have deep conversations and I think it stemmed from this.”


@themotherhoodkit I really hated getting the “it was good” reaponse to my after school questionining! I wanted to know more, all of it….so I started digging for questions that would give me better responses. Try these and let me know how it goes! . . . . . #afterschoolroutine #schoolpickupfun #schoolpickipline #motherhoodseries #motherhoodkit #motherhoodlife #motherhoodunplugged #bondingwithkids #openendedquestions #motherdaughterrelationships ♬ To Build A Home - The Cinematic Orchestra & Patrick Watson

 

You can follow Yamel (@themotherhoodkit) on TikTok for more content on parenting. 

This article originally appeared 2 months ago.

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