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Woman explains why dating is 'stressful and hard' nowadays and single people are finding it quite relatable

Dating is not what it used to be in the past decades and with the involvement of dating apps, it has gotten worse only.
PUBLISHED DEC 29, 2024
A man and woman chatting and having coffee | Cover Image Source: Pexels | Katerina Holmes ; (inset) X | @Iamivy05
A man and woman chatting and having coffee | Cover Image Source: Pexels | Katerina Holmes ; (inset) X | @Iamivy05

Finding a genuine person to date is a struggle, especially when our choices and decision-making capabilities are dictated by several social media dating gurus. We sort people into categories like red flags and green flags and judge every move our potential partners make during a date. According to The Guardian, the online dating industry was also going through some serious crisis in 2024 as many of the users reported negative experiences on the app. One life coach and writer named Ivy, (@Iamivy05 on X), shared her thoughts on the online platform about how complicated the dating scene has become lately.

Image Source: Pexels | cottonbro studio
A man and woman enjoying wine and smiling on a date (Representative Image Source: Pexels | cottonbro studio)

"Dating is so hard now. Everyone’s on guard. A whole lot of competition like who calls first or who is less affectionate. Act like you don't really need them so they don't get too comfortable with you. You can't just be yourself? It's very stressful," Ivy wrote in her post. She further added that people in the dating scene are always "wearing armor" to protect themselves from potential heartaches. "But in doing so, they're also blocking themselves from forming genuine connections with others. This self-protection mechanism can lead to a sense of emotional numbness and disconnection, making it even harder to navigate the dating world," Ivy continued.



 

She also explained how dating on "defense" can be extremely exhausting and limiting. By being protective and honest about what an individual wants, they are capable of taking control of a situation by opening themselves up to more authentic connections. In a fourth comment, Ivy how social media had largely affected the dating game in recent times. "Social media can make you feel like you compete for the perfect relationship but the real connection happens when you turn off the screen and look into the eyes of someone who sees you, not your posts," she concluded.

 A young couple fighting (Representative Image Source: Pexels | RDNE Stock project)
A young couple having an argument (Representative Image Source: Pexels | RDNE Stock project)

This post sparked a serious discussion amongst people in the online community who came forward to disclose their experiences with dating and how it affected them. @Raspxxyy quipped, "Modern dating can be overwhelming and stressful. It’s like a game where people are trying to protect themselves from getting hurt, rather than being genuine and vulnerable. This mindset can lead to a sense of disconnection and isolation, even when we’re surrounded by people." @salim_dakingari mentioned, "Everyone’s playing games instead of being real. Vulnerability is seen as a weakness now but how do you build something genuine without it? Exhausting."



 



 

@Cosyluv_ agreed, "You’re right, dating has become a competition. It’s like everyone’s trying to outdo each other instead of focusing on genuine connections. This competitive mindset can lead to feelings of anxiety, inadequacy and burnout." @hcetamd commented, "A lot of people (myself included) have put up emotional walls to keep a bad relationship event from causing pain. Many of us have been hurt before or seen others hurt and just want the peace of working a job and staying out of trouble." @michaeldineen58 added, "It is really disturbing that people have to deal with these types of things while trying to find romance or love in the present day. Actually, it's been a complicated ordeal for quite some time. All I know is I am too old for any such games 'cause I don't have the patience now."

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