Woman told her dating match she thought he was using ChatGPT — the message he sent next gave him away
There’s no harm in taking help from chatbots or other people to elevate your dating game. However, the messages and gestures should reflect who you are, and you should be honest about it. Threads user Kendra Stanton Lee, who goes by @kendraspondence, shared a post on Monday, August 3, 2026, about a match who lied after using ChatGPT while texting her. It wasn’t long before his own messages called him out and revealed the truth.
Lee received an opening text from a match, asking, “What do you want to achieve this year?” Her mention of writing a novel was followed by a reply that read: “A novel? Then let tonight be an unwritten chapter.” After the duo became comfortable with messaging, the woman told him that she suspected he had used ChatGPT earlier. He texted, “lol answering ur question and asking u same got me under a ChatGPT indictment.. n I don't know how teenagers messages look like until u told me” (sic). The wording made it obvious he was lying.
His early messages were polished, poetic, and charming, but Lee said his grammar, spelling, and writing style later felt like "a teenager's." When she asked if he was using AI, he denied it, got offended, and questioned how she knew what a teenager's texts sounded like if she wasn't one herself. The two responses couldn't have been more different. As an English teacher, Lee likely recognized the shift in writing style. She mentioned that using a chatbot instead of being yourself on a platform like a dating app is bad enough, but then lying about it is even worse.
According to Scientific American, this act is as disappointing as being catfished. The report titles it as “chat-fishing,” where people use AI and other systems to portray themselves in a particular way through their messages and charm others. The most concerning part is that many dating apps are on board with this idea. For instance, it was noted that Facebook Dating has an automated assistant to help with texting. On the other hand, the app Volar allows people to train a chatbot to respond like them in the initial stages of matching. Data collected from a survey by Match supported these theories. 26% of U.S singles claimed they used AI for better interactions on romantic apps. 40% said they wanted help with making dating profiles.
Maybe using assistance isn’t bad, but when it replaces your authenticity, it’s as good as gaslighting for someone who is just getting to know you. Commenters shared that the difference was so evident that even they were able to call him out. @mom_kid_world said, “He's busted. He was using AI to connect because he's borderline illiterate and didn't even know there was a difference for you to notice.” @laheelah_pilates remarked, “I wonder what happened. Did he reach his daily limit with ChatGPT?” @ehhleeas wrote, “My head started to hurt trying to read his real messages.”
You can follow Kendra Stanton Lee (@kendraspondence) on Threads for more content on dating and lifestyle.
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