A recovering alcoholic set one boundary for a second-date dinner — and the restaurants he chose revealed his true colors
Dating often involves small choices that reveal deeper values. A second date, especially, can show how well two people listen to each other. One woman, a recovering alcoholic, learned this after setting two clear boundaries for her second-date dinner, only to find that the two restaurants he picked revealed his true character. In a Reddit post shared on Thursday, January 22, 2026, user u/EquivalentOk6093 shared her experience, explaining how the evening unfolded and how she felt when her preferences, including her dietary and sobriety needs, were overlooked.
The 28-year-old explained in her Reddit post that she met the 38-year-old man through a dating app and had gone out for coffee on their first date. They got along well, and during that meeting, she shared important details about herself. She told him she did not drink alcohol because she was a recovering alcoholic with almost two years of sobriety, and that she avoided red meat due to health and personal reasons. “I don’t mind if a date has a drink with dinner, but I will never again touch alcohol,” she wrote. She also made it clear that she enjoyed almost all types of cuisine and was not picky about food, simply needing options that fit her requirements. She said she appreciated it when potential partners took initiative in planning dates, so she was initially excited when he offered to choose the dinner spots.
The night before the planned date, the man informed her he had made a reservation at a location she had never heard of. She looked it up and discovered it was primarily a cocktail lounge. The menu was limited, offering mainly a meat and cheese board, a pepperoni pizza, a burger, and a cheese pizza, leaving her with just one option she could eat. As she continued reviewing it, he suggested they go there for dinner and then head to a nearby art-themed bar for a nightcap. “At that point, I was honestly pretty thoroughly confused,” she explained. Both locations were bars, not restaurants, and she felt it ignored the boundaries she had clearly communicated about alcohol and dietary needs. She emphasized that she would have been fine with almost any restaurant, as long as it offered some non-red meat options.
After thinking the situation through, she decided to cancel the date. She wrote that her decision was not about being inflexible, but about noticing what she felt was a potential test of her willingness to set aside her needs in the future. She stressed that the city had hundreds of excellent dining options, and the choice of two bars left her with no meaningful alternatives. His brief response to her decision, “We’ll leave it at that,” made her reflect further on her instincts and boundaries. "He responded kind of strangely after I let him know I didn’t think we were a good match as well."
While she admitted to doubting herself afterward, she concluded that her choice was consistent with her values and self-respect. She noted that she was not desperate to date and that her life was already fulfilling, with a successful small business, a strong circle of friends, hobbies she loved, and her own home. She added, “I am in no rush to settle down, especially for the wrong person.”