Abuse survivor mom ‘astounded’ by 4-yr-old son's touching words about her to his future wife

Childhood trauma is a gradual process that takes time to heal people. Many victims who become parents still hold the wounds of their past in their hearts and hope to undo them by having healthy relationships with their kids or through a subtle process. Similarly, a mom named Vanessa McNeal-Atadoga–who goes by @thevanessmcneal on Instagram–revealed that she, too, had experienced childhood trauma and was still recovering. It had left a profound impact on her life, but her 4-year-old son EJ added a magical band-aid to her pain with a heart-melting conversation, per Newsweek. Without knowing it, the boy made a statement that had left a healing mark on his mother. 

The 31-year-old mom mentioned that she was a victim of abuse and childhood trauma and spent most of her young years in survival mode. “Trauma, at its core, is wounding," she remarked. McNeal-Atadoga even specialized in social work and trauma-informed care to help herself and others who have experienced broken relationships. The mom’s video captured the 4-year-old engrossed in a casual conversation with his mom. He told her that when he grows up and marries "a mom, like marry a stranger,” to be his wife, he’ll tell her all about his mom. Confused, McNeal-Atadoga asked what he said. EJ had the most reassuring reply. “I’ll tell her that she looked very nice and I loved her and she did very nice stuff." 

Also, he noted that he’d acknowledge that they do have fights sometimes, but that doesn’t change the love his mom had for him. “And you’re talking about me,” she asked, to which her son casually replied, “Yeah.” “Proof that there’s an end to generational trauma,” the mom wrote in the text overlay. She recalled getting teary-eyed after her son walked away, leaving her with a mesmerizing thought. Her eyes still welled up every time she thought about this conversation. “Watching my son share with me that he’s going to tell his wife about how much I did for him, my beauty and how much he loves me despite our struggles, filled my heart in ways words can’t describe,” the mom remarked. 

The encounter caused the mom to look back on her life with her son. She confessed that when she learned she was pregnant, she was scared to commit. However, she decided to show up and be a good mom. "I unapologetically show up for and advocate for him, I honor his feelings – even when it's inconvenient – I repair immediately after I make a mistake(s), I don't just tell him I love him, but I show him through the actions I take for him and myself,” she remarked. Seeing that all this paid off was an “astounding” feeling for McNeal-Atadoga. "I cried happy tears. It felt like a big hug to my inner child. I'm not a perfect mom, but I knew I'm a mom he's proud of," she said.

"It showed me he feels secure enough in the love he receives now to imagine recreating it in his future. That's powerful evidence that the cycle is breaking,” she added. “It’s moments like these that affirm the power of breaking cycles and creating ever-living legacies,” the mom concluded. @therealcosmiclogic78_ noted, “He basically said you are a shining example of womanhood and motherhood that he plans to brag to his future wife about. This is every boy's mom’s dream.” @lucindaoginga added, “He has assessed you for a long time and drawn lovely conclusions.”

You can follow Vanessa McNeal-Atadoga (@thevanessamcneal) on Instagram for more content on parenting.