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Grandma gave little granddaughter her first haircut without permission — then learned why it was wrong

The mom came home one day to find out that the grandmother had given her daughter a haircut without asking her.
PUBLISHED JAN 9, 2025
(L)Grandma prepping granddaughter's hair for a cut. (R) A sad grandma standing in her home. (Representative Cover Image Source: Pexels | cottonbro studio and Kindel Media)
(L)Grandma prepping granddaughter's hair for a cut. (R) A sad grandma standing in her home. (Representative Cover Image Source: Pexels | cottonbro studio and Kindel Media)

It might be really exciting for both parents and grandparents to have a baby at home who is about to go through many firsts. However, the parents of a child would want to make some decisions for their kid by themselves and not have their parents interfere in things. Sometimes, a decision made by the grandparents without consulting the mom and dad might even lead to unnecessary hassle for the child and the parents. A mom, u/yeswehavenobonanza, came home to find out that her mom had given her daughter her first haircut without consulting her. So she took to Reddit to ask people how to deal with such a thing.

Scissors and a brush on a table. Representative Image Source: Pexels | Cottonbro Studio
Scissors and a brush on a table. Representative Image Source: Pexels | Cottonbro Studio

"Trying to figure out how to handle this without screaming," the mom began. "My mom watches my toddler (20 months) for a few days at a time, twice per month. She stays with us because she lives a few hours away. So far it's been mostly ok. Just hard having a house guest, and she tends to help "too much" (putting things away in the wrong place, etc)," the woman explained. Until something happened that made her really mad. "I came home and she had given my daughter her first haircut. No discussion, no permission. It looks fine and we might have said yes if she asked and my husband and I had talked about it."

"Now instead of a cute milestone, I am just PISSED beyond belief. This is so out of character for her. She's ditzy but well-meaning," the woman went on. "We already explained how upset we are. She gets it. She was also here the other day. I can hardly look at her. Or my daughter for that matter. I am so mad." She asked, "I'm sure this has happened to others... how did you handle it? Or how would you hypothetically handle it? We can't afford full-time daycare so we rely on her and my mother-in-law. Ugh. I am seething." The woman was mainly mad because her mom gave her daughter bangs. Hence, they would have to deal with the hair in the eyes. The mom added, "This has us questioning her decision-making skills, and what else she might do without asking."

In an update, the woman highlighted, "We had a conversation about boundaries and the deeper issue beyond just the hair. We'll see how things go forward." People took to the comments section of the thread to express their thoughts on the incident. u/MirandaR524 wrote, "Do you think she did it as an, 'Oh, Sally needs a haircut, I’ll take that off their plate and save them some money by doing it myself” or do you think it was malicious like “grandma is giving her grandbaby her FIRST haircut!' The first I would be hurt, but could move on. The second is a sign of a much bigger problem."

Image Source: Reddit | u/loopalace
Image Source: Reddit | u/loopalace

Image Source: Reddit | u/MintyPastures
Image Source: Reddit | u/MintyPastures

u/External-Company5611 commented, "It’s unlikely to be the first because she gave the baby bangs. That is a drastic change. A trim on the ends is more understandable, bangs is grandma thinks that the woman's daughter is her doll." u/Utopia_Little_Shark remarked, "Context and past behavior is everything here. If she just genuinely didn't think it through and feels bad now, no need to nuke a good childcare situation over one dumb mistake. But if this is part of a pattern of boundary stomping or control issues? Then yeah, time to seriously reevaluate the arrangement. Only you know which category your mom falls into."

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