Heather Graham was asked about being child-free and her honest response is what the world needs to hear today
Many adults dream of having a child and starting a family one day. However, some have quite the opposite idea for their own valid reasons. Unfortunately, outdated and stereotypical thinking condemns people who choose to be child-free. Terming them to be selfish, but no one realizes that there might be valid underlying reasons behind this confident decision. Actor Heather Graham revealed that she comes under the latter group and is positive about her choice not to raise children, per The Guardian. Citing her reasons and perspective, she pointed out something noteworthy that needs to be considered.
The actor noted that she has always made the conscious choice not to have children. One of her recent movies, "Chosen Life," revolves around her role as a child-free yoga teacher who is navigating life, learning to set boundaries and discovering more in the process. According to data from the Pew Research Center, around 47% of women who have never had children are unlikely to consider raising kids. Including young and old women, viz. under and over the ages of 50, many noted that they gladly wish to continue a child-free life for many reasons. The main factors included being able to focus on their careers, hobbies and other aspects of life without being tied down to a commitment such as motherhood.
Another survey highlighted that 21% of women don’t want to have children while 32% are unsure. Amanda Chappell, PhD, a faculty member at Bethany College in West Virginia, explained, “It’s not a good enough reason anymore to say, ‘I’m going to have kids because that’s what everybody else is doing or that’s what my mom wants me to do,’” per American Psychological Association. Chappell has worked on a dissertation involving the childbearing plans of adults and made quite a few insights. She noted that the latter is “not a good enough reason anymore because there’s so much at stake.”
Graham, like many others, is aware of these reasons and stands by her decision. “I think I’ve had moments where I wondered, ‘What would it have been like if I had a kid?’ I guess I would say 80% of the time, I feel glad I don’t have kids and I feel free and really good about it,” the actor said. She added that though there is 20% of the time she does wonder what life would look like as a parent, she has learned to “appreciate the life you have.” Speaking about society’s pressure to have kids as a norm, she noted that women who ignore the latter and prioritize their own life decisions are to be commended.
“I do think it’s awesome now that more women are expressing their desire to not have kids.” She mentioned that for many, having kids is conforming to pressure just to fit in and be a “people-pleaser.” Having battled the latter throughout her life and learned how to get out of it, she is advocating the need to listen to oneself when it comes to life choices, especially one like childbearing. “The culture says: ‘You need to have kids.’ But why? If you’re not a people pleaser, what do you really want?” she remarked. Now, at 55, she is still bent on her decision and hopes to continue asking, “What do I really want?” instead of conforming.